How to silence your inner critic

Despite what your inner critic may blather on about, you already have the will and the way to outsmart stress and insecurity. Here’s how!

Nothing dashes excitement for the future quite like the sting of falling short. Whether you put yourself out there and got rejected, or failed at a goal, it’s easy to feel crushed, self-critical and convinced you couldn’t possibly pick yourself up and try again.

But your next success may be a lot closer than you think: “Resilience is something that can be learned and cultivated and strengthened,” says psychotherapist Linda Graham, author of Resilience. “Scientists have proven the neuroplasticity of the adult brain, or its ability to grow throughout our lives; you can harness the brain’s capacity to change to become more resilient.” In other words, you’re never too old to learn new ways of responding to disappointments that will leave you stronger, braver and more optimistic!

The best news? Strengthening those mental muscles can actually feel good: “Any positive emotion creates resilience,” says Graham. “Gratitude, awe, self-compassion and delight shift the functioning of the brain out of reactivity, contraction and negativity and into a more open space.” Facing a tough hurdle? Give yourself a pep talk. Missed an opportunity? Head outside to admire the view as you rethink your strategy. “Your brain reacts and functions differently when it’s under pressure versus when it’s feeling possibility,” says Graham. “You can actually feel your thinking opening up to greater awareness and receptivity, an inner space from which it’s easier to problem-solve.”

Read on for the expert-backed strategies to bounce back from anything.