Bath time escape artist

“I’d just finished cleaning my house to prepare for guests when my 70-pound mutt, Roscoe, decided to have a romp around my muddy backyard. As he trotted into the kitchen stinking to high heaven, I knew he was in desperate need of a bath, but I just couldn’t sacrifice my pristine bathroom to do it.

“So I put a large towel down in the back of my SUV and hauled him to our local pet shop’s do-it-yourself pet wash to get him cleaned up. Each washroom was equipped with a waist-high tub with metal chains affixed to the wall to keep your pup in place. I thought I’d properly attached the chain, until halfway through his bath, Roscoe, sudsed up from head to toe, burst out of the tub and bolted straight into the store.

“Horrified, I yelled for him to come back as I scurried after him. Of course, this just made him think we were

playing a fun game of tag, so he ran full speed down the aisles, slipping and sliding, knocking over displays and shaking suds all over the merchandise.

“Some of the workers tried to help me corral him, but as we ran, we slipped and fell over each other like a bad episode of

The Three Stooges.

“After 45 minutes, we finally lured him back to his bath with treats, where one of the workers pointedly chained Roscoe to the tub and left in a huff.

“Finally clean, my naughty pup wagged his tail happily as we left the store, not caring a lick that we’d both been properly banned from the pet wash for life.” —Meg Luna, 42, Ventura, CA