Overcome any disappointment

Experts share strategies guaranteed to help you bounce back from life’s letdowns with grace & guts!

When things don’t turn out the way we’d hoped, it can feel like the rug’s been pulled out from under our feet. Whether it’s getting this close to landing a dream job— only to lose out in the end—or realizing that our forever relationship actually has an expiration date, there’s no doubt about it: Disappointment stings.

“In my practice, I’ve found that people avoid disappointment far more than other negative emotions,” reveals psychotherapist Mary Lamia, Ph.D., author of Emotions! Making Sense of Your Feelings. “It’s easier to be angry, for example, because disappointment comes with finality: the recognition that we won’t get what we wanted.”

The good news? Simply admitting that we’ve been let down opens the door to recovery. “Adopting an adaptive response—where we try to learn from the experience rather than deny our feelings—allows us to move forward,” promises Lamia. “In fact, studies show that unmet expectations, which can feel so painful in the moment, make us much more resilient in the long run.”

The key is to ask yourself questions designed to broaden your perspective, advises Christine Padesky, Ph.D., coauthor of Mind Over Mood. For instance: What might this situation look like three years from now after things have settled down? and Have I recovered from similarly stressful experiences? This new internal dialogue will quiet your inner critic and open your heart to healing.

Read on for more strategies that will help you tackle setbacks and come out the other side wiser and stronger!