WORRIED IT WON’T BE GOOD ENOUGH?

PINPOINT

‘REVERSIBLE REALITY’

The snow is falling and the turkey is in the oven…it’s still not good enough, you worry. It’s natural to try to create the “perfect” holiday in order to feel like you’re in control in the midst of so much that’s out of your control. But sky-high expectations only set you up to feel like you’re falling short.

Loosen the grip perfectionism has on you by focusing on what you can change, says David Richo, Ph.D., author of Five True Things: A Little Guide to Embracing Life’s Big Challenges. “Anxiety is triggered when you’re attempting to change irreversible reality—like focusing on making sure everyone in your family is happy all the time, which is impossible,” he says. A big part of feeling less stress is focusing on reversible reality: What do you have control over? Also, just hearing yourself say yes starts to replace anxiety with serenity: Yes, it’s okay to lower my expectations. Yes, I’m doing my best. “The paradox is that you’re more empowered when you surrender to reality than when you fight it.”