Rack ‘em up!

Do you remember Jack the Ripper? Yeah, well, our own Jack — known as “the Ripper” — moved from Redding, and is now living in Ukiah.

Jack was so-named by his pool playing casualties from Redding, and we may come to wish they wanted him back. I have gotten news from the now constantly-losing Bryan “the Crutch” Crutcher. He indicates that Jack is doing everything he can to further his seemingly solid reputation on the pool table while playing at Bryan’s home.

If you were ever lucky enough to play Bryan you will remember him as being a very competitive pool player. Well, Bryan reports that Jack is winning about 8 out of 10 racks played in either 8-ball or 9-ball games. Huh? How can that be? Bryan is a top player; there must be some mistake. Nope, Jack is just that good at the games of 8 and 9-ball.

I’ve recently begun to hope Jack will soon take up some dangerous sport and slightly injure his bridge hand or something. I know I shouldn’t, but I was thinking maybe something slight, like a stiff index finger. Just enough for us to be able to save face for when the interloper figures out how easily he can drive to Fort Bragg. If that happens, then here he will come to embarrass the rest of us with his prowess on the pool table. If you know of a finger stiffening spell, or something that you think, or even suspect, might help send it to Bryan first, he is especially desperate to win a few games in a row against the “Ripper.”

Hang in there Bryan, I’m sure that help will soon be on the way.

In the meantime, the League did make the following suggestions: Take Jack catfishing, he may embed a hook or catfish whisker in his hand or finger. They could become infected, which could affect his pool playing and with some help might become a semi-permanent condition.