Exhibit: ‘Mom, I can’t do this anymore’
The Mendocino College Art Gallery is hosting the show “Mom, I can’t do this anymore,” an exhibit curated by Suni Smith. It is about the story of her daughter Joanna Lyra Maltas, who passed away by suicide in July of 2020. The show will be on display until Sept. 30 with remaining gallery dates being Sept. 21-23 and Sept. 28-30.
The show displays a collection of paintings, drawings and writings from throughout Maltas’ life, beginning from her early years as a child and gradually into her complex years as an adult where, though she engaged in an active list of hobbies and occupations, she still struggled to cope with emotional distress, leading to schizophrenic psychosis and ending with suicide.
Smith notes that there was more that was going on with her daughter’s psyche. The question had arisen for her: Is there such a thing as mental difference? In looking at her daughter’s artwork through the span of her life, she noticed a regression and exaggerated expression in parts of her life that were more difficult.
“It’s mine and my daughter’s story that represents many people,” says Smith.
With this particular show at the gallery during September, which is recognized as Suicide Prevention Month, some of the things that Smith specifically wanted to be more conscious of is issues of awareness and prevention. She suggests the use of different language around addressing suicide prevention and a shift more toward awareness. Smith explains that If she hadn’t lost her daughter to suicide she may have lost her to mental illness which is highly stigmatized and for the person struggling, it becomes harder to accept and seek help.
In the show, the art of Maltas is used to demonstrate the contrast in the work of someone who is highly sensitive from when they are feeling in balance and when their balance is disturbed.
“I’m curious about mental illness, mental difference and how art is both expressive and therapeutic for mental illness, both for people that have and for people who are dealing with it,” says Smith.
One way to approach mental illness, Smith believes, is by creating resiliency from childhood by teaching and encouraging mindfulness throughout life experiences that can help people make better decisions and learn coping skills early on.
Smith suggests that groups like the National Alliance On Mental Illness and Manzanita are agencies that need to be supported. She puts emphasis on empowering the police departments and other emergency workers to strengthen skills on how to understand and work with individuals who may be experiencing episodes caused by mental illness. She suggests a training handbook and reference guide for handling psychiatric emergencies that is provided by the NAMI organization available to the public.
Many books and resources for hotlines and support are available at the exhibit.
The show also hosts some of the artwork that Smith created as she processed her grief in the first six months after Maltas passed. She had wanted to get in touch with her daughter and began keeping a notebook to channel and connect regularly. A big part of her healing was expressed and helped by sitting down to draw.
In her drawings, Smith sometimes used specific things like a person in a raft, and in that picture there were also a lot of people around that she had taught and brought, reflective of her happiness and time working as a rafting guide. There are some drawings where Smith uses a teardrop to recognize grief and landscapes that symbolize her daughter’s love for nature.
Smith wears a necklace, a colorful link of multi-colored beads and a hollowed crystal that holds some of her daughter’s ashes. People often comment on her pendant and chain.
“It engages a little more around the experience and a way of reaching out,” smiles Smith.
“Mom, I can’t do this anymore” will be on display at the Mendocino College Art Gallery, 1000 Hensley Creek Road in Ukiah. The show will be available for viewing on Sept. 21-23 and
Sept. 28-30. Gallery hours are from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. with extended afternoon hours on Sept. 28, 29 and 30 from 1 to 6 p.m. A mask is required and visitors are asked to sign in. For other requests to view the show, call the Mendocino College at 707-468-3207.