No tem­plates needed

Simon Wil­liamson lives with his fed­er­ally-rec­og­nized spouse in the wild yon­der of New­ton County. Fol­low him on Twit­ter at @si­mon­willo.

GA Voice - - Outspoken - By Simon Wil­liamson

While be­ing LGBT+ peo­ple in an unLGBT+ world comes with an almighty load of prob­lems—like the need to con­stantly protest against laws specif­i­cally de­signed to cock us around—there are benefits to hav­ing few tem­plates for our adult lives.

One of the ma­jor perks is not hav­ing to worry about fit­ting our re­la­tion­ships, or our selves, come to think of it, into pre-or­dained gen­der roles. For ex­am­ple, while so­ci­ety ar­bi­trar­ily at­tributes mas­culin­ity to me due to beard­ed­ness and in­abil­ity to dress my­self nicely and my hus­band as more fem­i­nine, the way we are with each other doesn’t sub­scribe to such facile non­senses in the least. In fact, in my last col­umn I men­tioned he ex­hib­ited be­hav­ior gen­er­ally con­sid­ered mas­cu­line when “Then, the most vis­i­ble black gay men were ac­tivists, writ­ers and or­ga­niz­ers, and if you wanted to be vis­i­ble you be­came an ac­tivist, writer or or­ga­nizer. Now the most vis­i­ble black gay men are re­al­ity stars.” he had to get a bat out of our bed­room, while I hid down­stairs ready to clobber its fly­ing rat ass with ei­ther the mop in my left hand or the grumpy bea­gle in my right. His other tasks in­clude rid­ding ev­ery build­ing I ever go into of in­sects, singing the Vince Gill part in our “I Will Al­ways Love You” duet, and main­tain­ing his body by run­ning seven miles four times a week—none of which I am phys­i­cally able, nor men­tally pre­pared, to do.

The free­dom to let such mat­ters play out on their own and lit­tle pres­sure within our com­mu­nity to ful­fill gen­der-based ex­pec­ta­tions is a luxury we re­ally should ap­pre­ci­ate. We don’t need to sub­scribe to the rules of the in­se­cure straight men who aren’t al­lowed to en­joy mu­si­cals, or to dress up for swanky dos, or ac­knowl­edge that hav­ing your prostate rammed by a pe­nis, or an imi­ta­tion thereof, is ac­tu­ally rather mind-blow­ing. While I have never been a les­bian, I don’t see why the chance to set your own path wouldn’t be more avail­able to the women in our com­mu­nity ei­ther, even with the added pres­sure so­ci­ety heaps onto them.

Which means that it is more likely we forge our own paths. If that isn’t free­dom—although the crowd that uses that term the most rarely agrees with us—I don’t know what is.

The draw­back, of course, is that, as a group, we self-po­lice, and we can of­ten be the Samb­ora to our very own Lock­lear. We’re aw­ful at in­clud­ing the T in our se­ries of let­ters (I don’t think we’re par­tic­u­larly good to the B ei­ther), our rich- est lobby group is so white it could sing a cloy­ing duet with Ste­vie Won­der, and mar­riage equal­ity has filled our spin­naker like Dolly Par­ton’s tits across the dash of a Smartcar, forc­ing out a host of im­por­tant is­sues rel­e­vant to our peo­ple.

What we have is the chance to push the ever-con­tin­u­ing sex­ual revo­lu­tion fur­ther. It re­ally is up to us to drag so­ci­ety with us to a place where “be­ing a man” can in­clude foot­ball, butt­sex, pink doggy clothes, and a rous­ing ver­sion of Ok­la­homa! af­ter din­ner.

We’re con­tin­u­ally wrestling with our demons, and once they’re beaten, we have an even bet­ter chance to show the rest of the world what real free­dom is, and to rid of our­selves of forced gen­der bi­nar­ies and their re­stric­tive ran­cid­ity.

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from USA

© PressReader. All rights reserved.