On liv­ing life with in­ten­tion

GA Voice - - Georgianews -

You know me well enough by now to know that I write about what­ever seems to be a re­oc­cur­ring theme in my life at the time. I think about some­thing, then a friend brings it up, then some­thing hap­pens that makes me think about it. I turn it over in my mind un­til I feel like I have some­thing to say about it.

Last night, I spoke with my friend Josh about a dif­fi­cult de­ci­sion he had just made. He had a sec­ond job that he re­ally loved. His co-work­ers were like his fam­ily and he felt like he was let­ting them down by leav­ing. How­ever, he saw that it was keep­ing him from the life he wanted. It had taken him months to come to the de­ci­sion, but he made the hard choice to walk away from it and to­wards the un­known. He made a de­ci­sion to live with in­ten­tion.

To­day, I spoke to my friend, Hu­lon. He was telling me about he and his hus­band’s adop­tion jour­ney. A birth mom was con­sid­er­ing them to be the fa­thers of her un­born child. As he spoke, it oc­curred to me that I wished I could talk to the birth mom on his be­half.

I would tell her how the first time I ever met Hu­lon, he told me that he wanted a house filled with ba­bies. I would tell her how he and his hus­band, Matt, bought their house in Lawrenceville specif­i­cally to raise a fam­ily in.

I asked him if I could write her a let­ter and tell her how he lived his life with the ex­pec­ta­tion of be­ing a fa­ther. I’d tell her that the de­ci­sions he and Matt make now are de­ci­sions that were made for the love of the chil­dren that they are an­tic­i­pat­ing. Be­cause it is in­cred­i­ble to me when peo­ple have the courage to step out and make de­ci­sions in faith that things will un­fold as they want them to.

We all know peo­ple who just sort of sit back and let life hap­pen to them. They’re stuck work­ing jobs they hate. They con­tinue in re­la­tion­ships with peo­ple that make them mis­er­able. They don’t travel. They don’t take care of them­selves. They don’t con­tinue to learn. They just ex­ist and let the winds of life blow them around at will.

That was me 10 years ago. I was mar­ried to a man, help­ing him achieve his goals build­ing his busi­ness while ig­nor­ing my own dreams. I went to bed ev­ery night feel­ing lonely and woke up ev­ery morn­ing strug­gling to find the mo­ti­va­tion to get up.

The almighty Oprah once said some­thing to the ef­fect of “Cre­ate the life that you want. Don’t wait for it to come to you be­cause it won’t.”

Even­tu­ally, I sum­moned the courage to come out of the closet, end my un­happy mar­riage and face the fall­out. I did start do­ing what I loved to do for work. I ended re­la­tion­ships that were de­stroy­ing my peace. I trav­eled. I be­gan to re­ally care for my­self. I got two col­lege de­grees and made it a habit to con­tinue my ed­u­ca­tion.

Like Josh and Hu­lon, I have be­come very com­fort­able re­mov­ing things that do not serve my vi­sion for my life. I crave the peace that comes with know­ing how I want my life to be and only do­ing things that take me closer to my goals. I now live my life with in­ten­tion.

“It is in­cred­i­ble to me when peo­ple have the courage to step out and make de­ci­sions in faith that things will un­fold as they want them to.”

Shan­non Hames is a mom, writer, re­al­tor, vol­un­teer, rocker chick, world trav­eler and ’80s hair band afi­cionado. She loves ba­bies, ob­serv­ing peo­ple, read­ing great books and tak­ing hot baths. She has been writ­ing for Ge­or­gia Voice since 2010.

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