Reclaiming 41: The Journey to Heal a Notorious Past Trauma for LGBTQ Mexicans
Until recently, Alberto B. Mendoza hated 41. He cringed if his dinner bill or hotel room number had the number in it, and with the countdown to his 41st birthday, he dreaded the year to come.
His hatred of the number started when he was a kid. Growing up on the San DiegoTijuana border, he was excited when some friends nicknamed him 41. That is, until his father told him what it meant.
“When he heard them, he called me into the garage and said, ‘Why did they call you that? They’re calling you a faggot, are you a faggot?’” Mendoza recalled. “I just remember wanting to disappear and crawl into a hole.”
Mendoza, who is gay, was not ready to be outed. He came out when he was 19, and for decades more he hated the number. When he was set to turn 41, he told a friend over dinner how much he was dreading the milestone. That’s when he learned the story of how the slur came to be. models of different backgrounds, gender identities, sexualities, and ages. The youngest was just 12 years old, and the oldest was 82.
Over the years, South Floridians have been included in the list, including Herb Sosa, Arianna Lint, Maria Mejia, Jose Luis Dieppa, Ricardo Negrón Almodóvar, Morgan Mayfaire, Pablo Sanchez, Cary Tabares, and more.
“On a daily basis I look through different media outlets and I share articles that are at the intersectionality of gay Latino, social justice, health and share those stories on social media,” Mendoza said. “I am truly trying to make sure it’s a balanced list.”
For the class of 2021, which will be released this month, Mendoza will also include LGBTQ people who have passed away to honor their legacies.
Honor 41 creates a video for each person to tell their story. Many have similar themes of being bullied, abused, and misunderstood, but everyone has found a way to surround themselves with love.
“It isn’t just about 41,” Mendoza said. “It’s really about how we’re connected as LGBTQ Latinos. At the core of our challenge is still mostly culture that is homophobic, religion that is homophobic, and family that can be homophobic. I think we’re all much more empowered when we can take things that are negative and finally reclaim them.”
To learn more about the Honor 41 project or to nominate an LGTBQ+ Latino who has made a difference, visit honor41.org.
Christiana Lilly is a freelance journalist from South Florida whose reporting has been recognized by the Society of Professional Journalists Florida chapter, Florida Magazine Association, and Florida Press Club.