BUT TRUE!

FANCY-SCHMANCY retailer Nordstrom really stepped in it with a new fashion offering — a $530 pre-scuffed sneaker held together with tape! The “grungy rubber cupsole” Superstar Taped Sneaker by upscale Golden Goose fashions has critics crying the department store is trying to sell “poverty chic” to the rich — but Nordstrom is taking the digs in stride.

HORRIFIED Houston holy rollers are fighting the Canadian company KinkySdollS’ plan to open a robot brothel in the Texas city, insisting mechanical sex will “train men to become

rapists!”

YOU’VE goat to be kidding! La-La Land’s hottest party guests are Nigerian Dwarf goats Spanky and Pippin, who get paid $99 an hour to stand on folks’ backs as they kneel on all fours at hip hotspots! “Goat mom” Scout Raskin’s clients say the party animals are “fun and

therapeutic.”

A STUART, Fla., homeowner is making an ass of himself by gardening and washing

his car in the nude! Embarrassed neighbors have called the Martin County Sheriff’s Office

to complain — but were told to butt out! Apparently, the nudist’s behavior is legal — as long as he stays on his

own property.