From rugged individualism to interconnection

Forced to be apart, we have become closer.

That is the paradox of the pandemic.

The stayat-home mantra since mid-March has altered views on relationships in ways that could define a generation. Removed from the daily distractions and reduced to the elemental — Will I get the virus? Will I die? — we’ve realized in a new light the importance of our families, our friends, and our communities. We need these connections more than we need the latest fashion or the newest gadgets.

Shouldn’t we have known this? Of course. And buried somewhere inside we did. But the once-in-a-lifetime (we hope) event of a global pandemic has brought the knowledge to the forefront, much like a ray of sun piercing through a cloud cover.

If we are fortunate, we are sheltering with family. Perhaps with a spouse or significant other; perhaps children, young or grown; perhaps grandparents. We become dependent upon each other as never before.

We worry every day about the loved ones the quarantine keeps us apart from, the grandchild we can’t hug, the elderly parent we can’t visit. But technology enables connection.

We can FaceTime with that grandchild or parent and bestow virtual kisses. I’ve read short stories, “Five Little Monkeys” being a favorite, to my 18-month-old grandson via a Facebook Portal device. His grandfather, sitting next to me, finds versions of Bruce Springsteen singing “Erie Canal” to show him. Gabe, the toddler, always wants more. We hear his new words of the day, though we can’t be in the same room. We text the teenage grandsons, home from school and college, unable to be part of sports teams for the first time.

Virtual cocktail times bring friends together. We toasted friends in Florida not long ago and enjoyed lively conversation back and forth for an hour. Saying good-bye, until we meet again, was a poignant affirmation of our long friendship.

Friends play virtual games across the distance and share uplifting or funny videos. Not all involve cats.

You see this need to connect, especially while apart, spread to the community. We look out for each other’s health, by wearing masks and keeping six-feet distance.

The identity of rugged individualism on which this country is built is growing up. We keep our “can do” spirit, but value most the heart.