Family Centers offers support to those grieving during pandemic
GREENWICH — In January 2011, Christopher Harris was home from college and visiting his parents in Riverside. The 18-year-old fell ill with an infection and took a painkiller, said his mother, Karen Harris. The next morning, she found him unresponsive.
“That was quite a long time ago now ... although it is still very raw and it probably will always be,” Harris said. “That is something that I have learned throughout this journey.”
The days after her son’s death are still a blur. But Harris said she does remember that three months later, she joined the Den for Grieving Kids.
“Grief is a topic and a discussion that people really like to avoid,” she said. But the Den for Grieving Kids offered “an opportunity to talk about your grief and about the journey.”
“You get a lot of tips and other people’s experiences help you deal with the new journey, as well as, you feel like other people can identify with what you’re going through,” Harris said.
Leaders at Family Centers, a Greenwich-based human service nonprofit, are offering support to those who are grieving during this coronavirus pandemic. This is a public health and medical crisis, but the service providers said the virus has also created a mental health and grief emergency for many.
Family Centers offers bereavement support through the Den for Grieving Kids and the Center for Hope, which have seen an increase in calls amid the pandemic. The services have moved to a more virtual presence since the pandemic hit.
“Families can utilize the support for however long they need,” said Chelsea McGee, a licensed clinical social worker and manager of the Center for Hope.
“The purpose of the (programs) moving forward is to be able to continue to provide space and security and normalization of grief for folks that lose people in the midst of this virus pandemic, but also as a result of this virus,” she said.
“There will still be people that lose their loved ones, not related to COVID, and so it’s really crucial that the (programs exist) to be able to provide to anyone who’s grieving,” she said.
The Den for Grieving Kids offers free support, and the Center for Hope fees are based on an individual’s insurance.
A sense of isolation from the coronavirus has complicated the grieving process for many, organization leaders said. Many people were already receiving support in March when COVID-19 hit, and the increased isolation is bringing many clients back to the beginning stages of their grieving process, said Julianne Green, coordinator for the Den for Grieving Kids.
Grief is a difficult place to be: It’s anxiety-providing, and there’s increased sadness and a change in people’s lives during the process, she said. “And then you add in this pandemic, which for just the average person, creates a ton of angst and anxiety and worry,” Green said.
While clients are moving through the grieving process, it can be difficult to sit through their deep pain — something Americans are not very comfortable with, Green said.
But Family Centers staff said they hold a “strong belief ” that grief is a normal reaction to loss and that each person has the innate ability to heal.
“A lot of people see grief as something that has a finish line and something that after you hit the one-year mark, you are good to go and ready to move on, and that’s just not the case,” Green said.
“So, our goal is really to just be there for people and walk with them through their experience. ... We really just want to offer the space for people to be around others who understand, and others who are willing to support them and listen to them through some really tough and uncomfortable conversations,” she said.
The Den for Grieving Kids is modeled after the Dougy Center, which was the first family bereavement program in the country and still operates in Portland, Ore. Nearly 500 bereavement programs are now modeled after the Dougy Center, Green said.
There are a few bereavement programs — in Westchester and other parts of Connecticut — but the Den for Grieving Kids is the only unique family bereavement program in Fairfield County, McGee said.
These kinds of service providers saw a similar increased need for their supports after the 9/11 terror attacks, said Bill Brucker, vice president of communications and strategy at Family Centers.
There were a number of groups specifically designed for people who lost a loved one in the World Trade Center attacks in 2001, and program leaders focused on providing help for that kind of grief, Brucker said.
Before COVID-19 hit Connecticut, Family Centers had planned to host a large luncheon to support both programs, where they had hoped to raise $100,000. But the event was canceled over concerns about the pandemic.
As Family Centers leaders continue supporting the public through these two grief programs, they said they’re always looking for donations from the community to continue their programs.
When she began attending the Den for Grieving Kids program, Karen Harris said she was more of a listener than a participant. With time, she opened up more during the group’s sessions. Now, when she shares about her son, she said she’s able to celebrate his life.
“What you learn in the (healing) journey, I believe is, that this (loss) is now a part of me and a big part of who I am,” Harris said.
That journey has been full of ups and downs, “no question about it,” she said. But with Family Centers’ help, the Stamford woman said she now thinks about her positive memories of him.
To donate to the Den for Grieving Kids, visit www.familycenters.org/The-Den-for-GrievingKids. To donate to Family Centers, visit, familycenters.org/Give.