Wedding brings on in-law exclusion

Dear Amy: My niece’s brother-in-law, “Bradley,” will be getting married later this year.

My niece, “Kate,” is married to Bradley’s brother.

All of Bradley’s siblings and their spouses have been asked to be in the bridal party, everyone except for Kate.

Kate’s husband is in his brother’s party, but her future sister-in-law, “Julie,” has excluded Kate.

Kate included Julie in her wedding party several years ago. Kate can think of nothing that would have offended Julie.

How should Kate handle this upcoming wedding?

Sad Aunt

Dear Sad Aunt: In the movie version, “Kate” would attend the wedding, get roaring drunk, and then deliver the roasty-toast of the century. Movie pitch aside, if every single sibling and spouse has been included in the wedding party, this exclusion does seem off-kilter. However, the fact that Kate included “Julie” in her own wedding does not obligate Julie to recipro-kate.

Ideally, Julie would have anticipated this challenge and explained her decision to Kate in advance of her announcement.

Kate might be able to tease out a gracious explanation by asking Julie, “I accept your decision not to ask me to be part of the wedding party, but I want to make sure — are you and I OK?”

She should add, “Please, let me know if there is any way I can be helpful as you get closer to the date.”

Kate should attend this wedding, be a gracious guest, and have a good time.

Dear Amy: Lame advice from you to “Frustrated,” whose husband had stopped using deodorant and was now smelly.

Better advice for this person would be:

1) Shave underarms it will reduce the smell drastically.

2) Wash underarms in the morning and evening.

3) Lose the weight, the coffee and change the diet.

4) Get active and sweat in a workout as you will get rid of toxins and other chemicals bacteria live on. This will also have a benefit with depression if it’s a cause.

Reader

Dear Reader: “Frustrated” couldn’t even muster the courage to speak to her husband about his body odor. If she can’t even mention it to him, getting him to shave his armpits could be a tough sell.