Tragedy turns joyful personality dark
Dear Abby: My husband and I suffered a miscarriage five months ago, in the 12th week. I’m still not doing well. I have put on a facade to get by, but I’m just starting to realize how deeply this is affecting my life.
I used to be a happy, friendly person. Always a smile on my face and laughter to be shared and hugs for my loved ones. Since the miscarriage, I put on a fake smile and try to be who I once was, but I can’t keep doing it. Every day there is a moment from that day or the aftermath that floods my mind. I’m angry, bitter, mad at the unfairness, and I no longer have compassion or sympathy for others.
This isn’t me. I don’t want to be this way. My happiness has been replaced with tears and sadness. The hopefulness is replaced by emptiness. I’m very lost, and I don’t know how to get out of this funk.
I no longer want to try to get pregnant again because the fear of the physical and emotional pain of another miscarriage has me paralyzed. Any advice you might give would be appreciated.
Broken in Missouri
Dear Broken: Please accept my sympathy for the loss of your child. Your depression and the fear you have about another pregnancy are not unusual after a tragedy like the one you have experienced. The emotions you are feeling are to be expected.
Please schedule an appointment with your OB/ GYN and tell your doctor about all of these feelings, because the doctor can refer you to someone who can help you work through this.
Dear Abby: My boyfriend and I have been together for close to a year now.
Our hometowns are two hours apart so, to make it work, he bought us a house right in between. It was an hour each way to our parents’ houses. I thought it was the perfect compromise. But now he’s telling me he isn’t happy here in our new town, and he needs to sell the house and move back home.
He says he still wants to be with me and that we are going to make it work, but I can’t help but be scared that this is gonna be the end of our relationship. Should I see if we can actually make it work? Or do I call it quits?
Mixed Up in Massachusetts
Dear Mixed Up: My advice is to let things play out a bit more before making any decision other than to put the house on the market.