Remark creates rift between siblings
Dear Abby: I am a senior male. My problem is with my younger brother, who is a homosexual. I have always tried to ignore that side of his life and, consequently, we have always had a good relationship. He lives in another state, so we only talk on the telephone.
A couple of months ago while we were talking, the subject of sexuality came up, and I told him I find the fact that he is gay “disgusting.” I know it was a poor choice of words. I merely meant to say that I, myself, am totally heterosexual.
I left several messages apologizing for anything I said that he found objectionable. Now, when I try to contact him, he doesn’t answer my phone calls. I miss my brother, and I don’t want to lose all contact with him. If you have any advice for me, please give it to me.
Feels Like a Fool
in Washington
Dear Feels Like: After what you said to your brother, he would have to be a saint to forgive you. He is doing what emotionally healthy people do, erasing a negative influence from his life. You can continue trying to apologize by penning a heartfelt letter of apology and remorse, and sending it to your brother. But if he continues to be unreceptive, you will have to live with it.
Dear Abby: I met a man online seven months ago. We hit it off right away. I checked to make sure he wasn’t a “catfisher” and everything checked out. We talk on the phone at least twice a day, Facebook Messenger and video chat. He sent me a card for my birthday along with some money.
I have developed strong feelings for him, and he has told me he loves me. He has told me many times he wants to meet, but we couldn’t do it because of the pandemic. He’s a jewelry designer trying to get his business back up before he loses it.
Should I keep waiting or just stay friends with him? We really care about each other, but circumstances prevent us from meeting.
Brokenhearted in New York
Dear Brokenhearted:
Because “circumstances” prevent you from meeting this man in person, try HARD to regain your balance and stay friends. Although you think you know him, until you finally meet in person, you really don’t. Often when a significant other keeps making excuses not to meet, there’s a good reason for it and not always what you want to hear.