Infidelity continues to rock marriage

Dear Abby: My husband and I have been married for 25 years. He has recently started running around with his buddies and partying. He hardly has time for me anymore. I found out he had cheated on me several times, with different women. I left for a while, but I decided to try to work things out.

During the time I was gone, I ended up cheating as well. I developed some very real feelings for someone. I haven’t seen him in two years, but I still feel myself wanting him and wanting to be with him. I love my husband, but I don’t know what to do. I feel like I’m in love with both of them.

Distressed in Ohio

Dear Distressed: You may BE in love with both of them, but you made a commitment to work things out with your husband. If you are sincere about it, you will have to disengage fully from the man you cheated with and concentrate on your marriage. If you are not sure you can do that, marital counseling may help you decide what your next step should be.

Dear Abby: I was at a bar a few weekends ago and met a handsome stranger who seemed slightly familiar. He walked me back to my apartment, and we shared a kiss on my doorstep. The next morning, I made a horrifying discovery: He’s my second cousin! When I gave him the news, he told me he still wanted to try for a relationship. I’m confused about what to do. Please help.

Kissing Cousin in Maine

Dear Cousin: Marriage between second cousins is legal in every state. If you like this man, let the relationship play out and see where it leads. If you are worried about possible genetic complications, they should be discussed with your physician (and his).

Dear Abby: I’ve been with my boyfriend for four years. He has even given me an “engagement” ring. The problem is, whenever I ask him about setting a wedding date, he seems annoyed. He gave me the ring almost three years ago. Should I end this relationship if we can’t get on the same page?

Engaged in North Carolina

Dear Engaged: Unless your boyfriend can come up with a solid reason for not being ready to follow through on his marriage proposal, ending the engagement is exactly what you should do, because the ring you’re wearing is nothing more than a “promise” ring.