Uninterested in growing relationship
Dear Abby: I have been dating “Brent” for four years. Prior to meeting him, I was divorced with two children. Brent shows little interest in my kids’ lives. He doesn’t want us to live together before the kids are out of the house, and he never plans to get married. (My youngest is 10.)
Even if he would agree to move in now, I don’t want to move to his city because my kids need to be close to their school, their friends and their father. Brent doesn’t want to relocate because he thinks my town is geared more toward a younger generation.
I really would like to take our relationship to the next level. I have been trying for four years, but he ignores my hints. I have even considered getting pregnant to make this relationship go further. Advice?
Getting Desperate in the Heartland
Dear Getting Desperate:
You have wasted four years of your life on the wrong man. Brent is centered on himself and would be a negative, disruptive influence in your children’s lives. Your first responsibility must be to them.
As to the idea of becoming pregnant in spite of the fact that he doesn’t want to be a father — I DON’T RECOMMEND IT! You could get a rude awakening and end up parenting a child you didn’t really want all by yourself.
Dear Abby: I have a coworker I enjoyed talking to and being around. I’m 27, and she is 41. We used to sit together at lunch and during our break. All of a sudden, she stopped sitting with me during the first break but she still ate with me at lunch. Then she stopped eating with me at lunch!
I asked her if I said or did anything wrong and she said no. I asked her if she was avoiding me or had found something wrong, and she insisted there was nothing wrong and I worry too much. So now I sit alone and she sits somewhere else by herself with her phone.
I know people grow apart, but it stings. Can you share your insight on this dilemma? Lunching Alone
Dear Lunching Alone: There is always a reason. What may have changed are her circumstances. You mentioned that rather than sit with you, she now sits alone with her cellphone. It’s possible that something is going on with her family — or her personal life that requires her attention. I know it stings, but you have to let it go. Find someone else to socialize with during breaks.