Woman feels mistreated by daughter

Dear Abby: I have a daughter, “Molly,” who is in her late 30s. Her father and I divorced when she was an infant, and I raised her, with help from my family, until I remarried. Her father had visitation and paid child support, but that’s where it ended. Throughout Molly’s life, I have taken care of all medical expenses, extracurricular activities, etc., and I sacrificed so she could have what she needed.

The problem I’m having is that she treats me badly, while her father, his family, her husband’s family and members of my family are put on a pedestal. The disrespectful way she talks to me and her superior attitude have sent me into depression.

She doesn’t answer texts or return my phone calls unless she feels like it or wants something.

There’s the possibility that I’ll be coming into some money soon, and I have been thinking about changing my will and not leaving her anything. I am seeing a therapist to figure out why I can’t tell her how much her words and actions hurt me. Shouldn’t she be the one in therapy to figure out why she treats me this way?

Mistreated Mom in Georgia

Dear Mom: People don’t usually seek therapy unless they are hurting, as you are. Your daughter is fine with the status quo because you haven’t drawn the line and demanded to be treated with consideration.

If the money comes through, I hope you will spend that windfall on things you enjoy — travel, cultural events, all the activities you missed out on while sacrificing for Molly. You deserve it; she doesn’t.

Dear Abby: I renovated and moved into my girlfriend’s house a year ago, to the tune of $80,000. We have been together 12 years and agreed that although neither of us wants to remarry, we should stop paying two mortgages because we are nearing retirement and should save money.

She has an old cat that is peeing all over the house. She says, “What do you want me to do about it?” After more than a year of dealing with her cat peeing on everything, nothing has changed.

What can I say to get through to her that this is ruining our home?

Dear Frustrated: You and your girlfriend should discuss this with the cat’s veterinarian. Please don’t wait to do it!