Woman wants to keep in-law in dark

Dear Abby: I used to have a great relationship with my mother-in-law. I considered her one of my best friends, until her severe drug and alcohol abuse began to ruin her life. Her mental health issues came out in full force, and her lashing out reached a peak shortly before I married her son. After a barrage of nasty messages, she was no longer welcome at our wedding. I have blocked her from contacting me. She occasionally reaches out to my husband to talk only about herself.

We are thinking about starting a family in the next few years, and I’m terrified of her having access to our child. After she verbally attacked me, I don’t even want her to know if I become pregnant. My husband isn’t completely on board with keeping her in the dark, but he agreed not to tell her anything without us being on the same page. He is a thoughtful husband, but feels bad about being asked to keep such a big secret. I would greatly appreciate your advice.

Anxious in Wisconsin

Dear Anxious: While I admire your husband’s compassion for his abusive mother, he needs to accept that involving her in this chapter of your family life might not be the best decision for you or his child. She may find out eventually, but you will be safe in the short term.

Dear Abby: I host an annual party for many longtime friends. Some of them bring their (small) dogs, and that’s OK.

My problem is, one friend brings their giant dog. The last time “Brutus” was here, it was seen snatching food off the kitchen counter and the dining table.

I love this friend, but I don’t love that dog in my kitchen and dining room.

Normally I would just say, “Please don’t bring Brutus,” but I can’t. My friend is now blind and says Brutus is their Seeing Eye dog. (Brutus doesn’t act like any Seeing Eye dog I’ve ever seen. He’s very undisciplined.) I’m at a loss about what to do or say.

Do you have any advice for me?

Awkward in California

Dear Awkward: Yes. Service dogs wear a harness or a vest. They also are trained not to leave their owner’s side. They never behave the way Brutus has, so it’s safe to assume this person may have been less than honest with you about their own status, as well as their dog’s. My advice is to omit this person off your guest list, and if you are asked why, be truthful.