Adult guests cannot share a room

Dear Abby: I have known “Gigi” since second grade. We have stayed in touch through the years. Shortly after my first child was born, she started dating — and then living with — her boyfriend. I’m happy that she’s happy with him.

Soon after they began dating, Gigi asked about coming to visit, and I agreed, but said they would need to sleep in separate rooms at my house. She said yes, and I don’t think she was surprised because she has known me for so long. However, the plans didn’t work out (his schedule, she said) and they didn’t come. That was five years ago.

We were recently on the phone, and she asked about coming out. I told her I was glad to meet her boyfriend at last, and we set a date. Neither of us mentioned the sleeping arrangements, but I feel maybe I need to clarify again.

I do not judge her, but I have made a decision that in my home I should never have to feel uncomfortable. Their sharing the same room would make me uncomfortable.

She hasn’t mentioned her plans this time around, but right now it sounds like they intend to stay here. What should I do?

House Rules in Utah

Dear Rules: Call her and explain that although they are welcome, your feelings on the subject of sleeping arrangements haven’t changed. This is NOT a discussion you should have upon their arrival.

Dear Abby: What’s the best way to decline handshakes? In social settings, I often find myself ready to dine, hands washed and sanitized, only for someone to thrust their hand toward me expecting a handshake.

In one instance, a man who was hosting the gathering with his wife returned belatedly from a bike ride as we were approaching the dinner table and offered me his sweaty hand. Refusing elicited an expression of bewilderment. Please advise.

Keeping Clean in the West

Dear Keeping Clean:

You are far from the only person who dislikes shaking hands. Some individuals avoid it by placing their palms together, saying something like, “Great to see you!” Keep a small bottle of hand sanitizer on your person to use when you’re out of options.