Politics are a Joke
HOLLYWOOD-God Bless America, and how’s everybody?
Disneyland reopened to local Southern California customers last weekend with a limit of three tickets per family. As for the park’s star characters, Disney caved in to feminist woke pressure and they agreed to remove a problematic kiss by the Handsome Prince. Snow White will remain dead.
Variety said record-low Oscars ratings call for a return to glamorous movies with great scripts and real stars, and not comic book movies and woke homilies. Today, no one cares about awards shows except the nominees. Next year’s Golden Globes will include itself in the In Memoriam section.
The Golden Globes got canceled by NBC for lack of diversity in the voting foreign press. Now Hollywood is reportedly pressuring Fox Network for not starring enough blacks or Hispanics in its prime time programs. To comply, Fox just offered to air America’s Most Wanted five times a week.
President Biden addressed high gas prices Wednesday, stating the Colonial Pipeline will soon be back up. Today’s similarities to the Carter Era in the ’70s are eerie. Fuel shortages, gas lines, higher prices, tensions with Iran and I suddenly just remembered my old coke dealer’s phone number.
The FBI released crime statistics Friday showing that serious crimes like murder and robbery are way up in big cities across America. Last week, I was held up and robbed at a gas station in Beverly Hills, but I was later able to identify the thief in a police line-up. It was Pump Number Three.
Los Angeles motorists were socked in the wallet Wednesday as gas prices rose past five dollars a gallon. New pumps in L.A. have video screens on top of them for ads. They should run porn films on these screens so you can watch and know that you’re not the only one getting screwed at the pump.
Colonial Pipeline said its pipeline and gasoline supplies will be restored this week. Cable news showed people Back East storing gas in plastic bags they saved from hoarding toilet paper. The U.S. border was overrun by Venezuelans this week and this was our way of making them feel at home.
USA Today reported that motorists in Virginia have been filling up plastic bags with gasoline in an effort to hoard auto fuel. Department of Energy officials have warned Americans not to fill up plastic bags with gas. If there is any such thing as gas bag experts, it’s the bureaucrats in Washington.
The California Senate voted to approve a bill already law in Oregon that legalizes possession of psychedelic drugs like LSD. There’s no point in taking it now. In the Sixties, people took LSD to make the world look weird and today the world is weird and people take Paxil to make it look normal.
Republicans dumped Liz Cheney from House leadership on Wednesday. Liz’s moral objection to Trump is a neo-con cover story. Trump pulled U.S. troops out of the Middle East and ended the Cheney family dream of converting Iraq into three different countries—Regular, Premium and Diesel.
Ellen DeGeneres announced she’ll end her talk show next year when the contract expires with Warner Brothers. She’s been blasted by staffers for off-camera meanness and arrogance. Ellen