The White House addressed 9/11 anniversary by Argus Hamilton
NORMAN, OKLAHOMA--God Bless America, and how's everybody?
The White House gave President Biden's schedule for the twentieth anniversary of the World Trade Center attacks on Saturday. Last week Joe Biden signed an executive order releasing all classified 9-11 documents. He said Americans need to know how emergency telephone numbers work.
The University of Oklahoma is the nostalgic site of my show tonight where I first did stand-up comedy and wrote humor columns in the school paper. I majored in Coors. I always thank OU for giving me my direction in life and I thank the Betty Ford Center for turning that direction around.
Will Rogers Airport is where I landed last night where an OU fraternity brother picked me up and took me to my first visit to a WalMart. On the bread aisle, I saw a woman spend two minutes feeling up dozens of packages to decide which hot dog buns to buy. This is why the Taliban hates us.
The Taliban named the cabinet to rule Afghanistan Tuesday. The prime minister is a terrorist mastermind, his deputy has a ten million dollar price on his head and the Interior Minister is linked to Al-Qaeda. Now that the Taliban controls Afghanistan, the new LGBT pronouns are was/ were.
The Taliban revealed its ruling cabinet Wednesday
and issued orders telling Afghan citizens to go back to their lives as usual and to obey and abide by all government decrees. Things seem to be going well for the Taliban. Liberal Democrats in Washington have already offered to form a coalition.
Secretary of State Anthony Blinken was put in charge of the Afghanistan crisis this week as Americans tried unsuccessfully tried to fly out of the country. It's not looking good at all. The Postal Service honored President Biden Wednesday by putting his portrait on the Hostage Due stamp.
Secretary of State Anthony Blinken repeated the White House mantra Tuesday, declaring that no one is saying that the Taliban are good actors. Well, I'll say it. A few years ago, I saw Mullah Mohammad play Tevye in the the Tora Bora production of Fiddler on the Roof and it changed my life.
Nancy Pelosi will hold hearings into the protesters who invaded the Capitol last January. The House Democrats consider the Taliban to be the Delta variant of Trump supporters. The difference is when the Talban takes over a government, they don't wear horns, make-up and live with their Mom.
New York City is dealing with a new round of rat infestation after hurricane flooding flushed out the sewers last weekend. It so happens this month, NYC began using a new rat trap which catches the rodents then drops them into a vat of alcohol. The rats either die or they pledge Sigma Nu.
The Christian Science Monitor reports that many churches are naming church buildings after prominent benefactors. It's spreading quickly. It's only a matter of time before the Pearly's name is erased from Heaven's entrance and to enter Paradise you pass through the Bill and Melinda Gates.
The California governor recall election is held on Tuesday with Democratic Governor Gavin Newsom challenged by GOP conservative Larry Elder. It's close. Joe Biden and Kamala Harris said they will come to California and campaign for Governor Newsom, unless their demands are met.
Los Angeles synagogues were packed last week for the Jewish faith's New Year observance which is called Rosh Hashanah. When they wish each other a happy new year in Hebrew, they say L'Shanah Tova. A note to my fellow Protestants, L'Shanah Tova is not the name of a WNBA player.
PGA star Patrick Cantlay outlasted Jon Rahm to win the FedEx Cup Golf Championship and fifteen million dollars Sunday. A new health survey this week says that playing golf may extend your life span. That's true, as long as you're not in the golf cart when Tiger Woods is behind the wheel.