Dear Abby: Hungry Family Can’t Stomach Birthday Barbecue
DEAR ABBY: I was deeply hurt after going to a barbecue at my oldest daughter’s home. It was to celebrate my granddaughter’s fourth birthday. My daughter’s husband is from Thailand. He barbecued beautiful dishes of shrimp and something that looked like a gigantic crawfish. While my daughter is accustomed to and enjoys this food, she and her husband are aware that I, my husband, her sister and her niece are not accustomed to it. We simply do not like the flavor and texture.
When I asked my daughter if there were any hot dogs they could grill, at least for my 9-year-old granddaughter, she got angry and said she eats what her husband cooks. I felt our part of the family was not even being considered. I was hurt for my youngest daughter and my other granddaughter, who had literally nothing to eat that they would even remotely like. Am I wrong for feeling ignored being invited to a barbecue where my daughter knew all the food being offered were things we wouldn’t like? -- RUINED MY APPETITE
DEAR RUINED: I do think you are blowing this out of proportion. I assume you have been invited to your daughter’s and son-in-law’s before, and knew her husband does the cooking. Before coming over, you should have asked if it would be all right to bring a few traditional American dishes with you for the children. If your offer was refused, you could have skipped the barbecue. That said, look at the big picture. It was only one afternoon. I assume the kids were taken out for burgers or hot dogs afterward, and no serious harm was done.
News Junkie Triggered amid Current Pandemic
DEAR ABBY: I am a news nut. Since adolescence I have loved watching the news and staying informed about current events. I also have had a problem since childhood. When I see a person get an injection, I have a physical reaction. I shiver from head to toe. Because of the pandemic, I can no longer watch news broadcasts because they constantly show folks getting vaccinated. Does anyone else have the same reaction? Any suggestions? -- SQUEAMISH IN CANADA
DEAR SQUEAMISH: I am sure more people than you think have significant reactions regarding needles. A dear friend of mine must lie down before any procedure involving a needle because she faints. In your case, because news anchors usually announce before commercial breaks what will be featured “right after this important message from our sponsor,” take note of it and turn your head, change the channel or leave the TV until the next segment.
Family Picture Includes Now-Former In-Law
DEAR ABBY: What do you do with a large family picture of yourself, your husband, your son and your daughter-in-law who is no longer your daughterin-law? She and my son divorced after nine years of marriage. He has since remarried. I don’t want to hang the picture, but I don’t know what to do with it. Any help would be appreciated. -- OUT OF THE PICTURE IN ALABAMA
DEAR OUT: Try this: Reach out to your former daughter-in-law and ask whether she would like to have the picture. If she is interested, offer it to her. If she’s not, feel free to toss it.
New Couple emerges Following Pair of Divorces
DEAR ABBY: My wife and I hope you can answer a question for us. Two couples we were extremely close with for more than 10 years were divorced two and three years ago. We have just been told that Husband A has been secretly dating Wife B for six months. Wife A and Wife B were “besties.” The men were good friends, but not best friends like the women. Both couples were married for more than 25 years. They are all in their mid- to late 50s. My question is, is there a code where you don’t date one of your friend’s exes? -- TAKEN ABACK IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR TAKEN ABACK: While divorce among long-married older adults (“gray divorces”) may seem shocking to you, it has become more common. Many women are more economically independent than they were in decades past. In the wake of the long COVID lockdowns, people have been reevaluating not only their relationships, but also their career paths -- and deciding to try something they feel might be more rewarding. The situation you have described is regrettable, but it is no longer shocking. Be smart. Remain on the sidelines and don’t judge.
Widowed Former emT Ready To Respond again
DEAR ABBY: I lost my husband six months ago. He was my world, and I miss him terribly. We were together for 42 years and raised five beautiful children. I want to go back to school and get recertification as an EMT. My goal is to reach paramedic level. I’ll be 62 on my next birthday and have a few health problems. (Don’t we all?) Is my goal realistic? I plan to use these skills by volunteering in my community. I was a nationally certified EMT and hospital corpsman in my younger days. I just want to feel useful again. -- NEXT PHASE IN NORTH CAROLINA
DEAR NEXT PHASE: Please accept my condolences for the loss of your husband. If you can meet the physical qualifications, and since you already have the training, go for it! If you do, the payoff could be the emotional satisfaction you are seeking. I wish you the best of luck.