Dear Abby: Common Dog-Walking Habit Raises Stink With Readers
DEAR ABBY: I'm responding to your request for comments about your answer to "Doggy Business" (Oct. 28). Please IMPLORE your readers not to put their dog's poop in their neighbor's garbage cans, even if the cans are on the street. This may seem harmless, but I live near a park and daily dog walkers use my trash can like it's a public service.My garbage quickly fills with endless poop bags, sometimes between five and 10 a day. Garbage is collected only every other week in my community. I'm sure your readers can do the math. Then I end up having to work around all this poop, and not only does my garbage can perpetually stink to high heaven, but I have to be judicious with what I throw away myself.
Rough materials will rupture those bags and poop gets all over the inside of the can. I'm currently saving up to modify my property's retaining wall so I can keep the receptacles away from the street, but I'm at the mercy of dog owners until I can afford this renovation.
Please, if you have a dog, be a good neighbor. Be responsible for its waste. If you don't want to carry it, get your dog a harness or pack with a pocket, and dispose of it in your own can when you get home. -- PEEVED IN THE PACIFIC NORTHWEST
DEAR PEEVED: I advised "Doggy Business" that disposing of his dog's waste in neighbors' garbage cans is a big no-no. After asking for readers' thoughts, an AVALANCHE of responses descended. The vast majority agreed with me, expressing disdain at the practice and explicitly sharing the messy, smelly details of their experiences.
Some areas require trash be placed in a large, sealed plastic bag in the receptacle. When garbage collectors pull the bag out, the small poop bags can spill out and the contents disperse onto the street. Worse, if the bags are thrown into a neighbor's garbage container AFTER collection, those bags remain at the bottom and smell for days.
Readers, encourage dog walkers to take a larger bag with them or wear a fanny pack with multiple compartments to transport their pets' "souvenirs" back to their own home.
inheritance inquiries Rub Parents the Wrong Way
DEAR ABBY: Our nosy children have been pressuring us to explain their inheritance. I'm appalled. I was taught that this is something for the parents to tell, not the kids to ask. Several friends of ours who are executors for their parents are now being questioned by siblings while the parent is sick and fighting for life. Please explain to readers what is the best etiquette with regard to inheritance. -- UNSURE IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR UNSURE: I know this can be a sensitive subject, but it is also an important one. Although some may not agree with me, I happen to be in favor of open communication regarding money matters. Too often money (and the promise of it) is used to manipulate and control family members. This is not a matter of etiquette. If adult children are going to inherit, they need to learn early how to wisely and responsibly handle money. And, if circumstances change and the estate is affected, the heirs should be given as much forewarning as possible so they are prepared and not shocked.
Relationship Flounders amid Teen's Belligerent Protests
DEAR ABBY: I have been dating "Mark" for 18 months. Four months ago, his 17-year-old daughter, "Hayley," started disliking me -- my dog, my kids, anything having to do with me. She forbids me from going to Mark's house when she's there and has an emotional meltdown every time we see each other. She has major episodes whenever my name is mentioned and has become violent with her sister, "Lily," Mark and me.
Last night, Lily told Hayley my kids and I were invited over for dinner (Hayley is going to be gone for a football game), and Hayley accused Lily of "ruining their family" for liking me. Mark had to separate them to protect his younger daughter.
The problem is, there are never any consequences for Hayley's behavior. Mark keeps telling me she needs "time." I have tried to end the relationship, but Mark insists we just need to stick it out. We had been talking about moving in together before Hayley went into this phase. Now everything is on pause, and our relationship has taken 10 steps backward.
How can I get over this and become comfortable rather than upset in our relationship? He keeps promising me he will make changes, but he doesn't. Nothing is moving forward. Do I walk away or wait it out? -- NO PROGRESS IN IOWA
DEAR NO PROGRESS: I wish you had mentioned what the plans are for Hayley when she turns 18 and graduates from high school. Is college in her future? Will she get a job and continue living with her father? That Mark is unable to assert himself with Hayley is, to say the least, regrettable.
If you haven't already done so, "suggest" to Mark that family counseling could help him get to the root of what has caused Hayley's abrupt change of attitude. From what you have described, she may have severe emotional problems that require professional help.