Argus Hamilton
HOLLYWOOD--God bless America, and how's everybody?
New Yorkers will have to show vaccination cards to attend the New Year's Eve party in Times Square featuring a dance troupe from, of all places, China. It's a time for resolution and for reflection. Personally, I can't believe it's been an entire year since I failed to become a better person.
Country Music legend Johnny Cash was praised by a scholastic journal Friday for his radical care for society's underdogs in his classic Live from Folsom Prison album. The nation has come a long way since that live recording. Life's a lot better for a Boy Named Sue in 2021 than it was in 1969.
Warner Brothers released the trailer to Batman starring Robert Pattinson. Variety reports that Pattinson's portrayal of the Caped Crusader is raw, and not at all sanitized. That's great, but with the new variants weakening, the last thing the world needs right now is another raw, unsanitized bat.
The Washington Post ran an article Sunday reporting that twenty states have passed laws that strip the power of local health officials to require you to wear facial masks. What really annoys me is over-obedience. Wearing a mask while you're driving alone is only helpful if you stole the car.
The Comedy Store on the Sunset Strip disclosed plans to host our anniversary party in April to mark fifty years since the club opened in 1972. I'm certainly not the same guy who roared into town in 1976. These days after my show every night I ask around until I can score ten ounces of Pepsi.
President Biden agreed with the nation's governors Monday there are no federal solutions to Covid, only state solutions. Joe's setting up a website that will offer 500 million home testing kits to Americans. That sounds about right, there were 330 million Americans when he opened the border.
Dr. Fauci's latest proposal Sunday is to require vaccine cards for air travel across country. It seems just like yesterday he was telling us things can return to normal after we take fifteen days to flatten the curve. The hardest part of fifteen days to flatten the curve is always the first two years.
Dr. Fauci discouraged Americans from attending New Year's parties Sunday. Cable news loves Fauci because they think he keeps us glued to our TVs and to frightened to go outside and catch the Omicron sniffles. To Fauci, Covid variants are like boobs, even the little ones are fun to play with.
The Dallas Morning News reports that construction began last week for a border wall between Texas and Mexico. Immigration is just as bad a problem on the Lone Star state's western border. Texas Governor Greg Abbott just issued an emergency stay-at-home order for all California residents.
Santa Monica reports an alarming rise in crime in the L.A. beach community this month. Cops don't even bother to tell suspects in this town they have the right to remain silent. When you're a vegan and you do cross-fit and you've had two vaccine shots and a booster, it's impossible to be silent.
South Africa's Anglican Archbishop Desmond Tutu died at the age of ninety on Sunday. He achieved world fame by fighting against the policy in his country of the separation of races. If I know irony, it's only a matter of time before Cal State Los Angeles names its all-black dorm after him.
Boxing Day was observed in Great Britain Sunday, which is the traditional day of cleaning up the house and taking down decorations. For months after the holidays, I leave my Christmas lights turned on and strung around the roof of the house. People driving by think it's a Chinese restaurant.
Windsor Castle police caught a teenage kid scaling the wall Sunday. He intended to kill Queen Elizabeth with a crossbow. This just shows that in a country where you are not allowed to own revolvers, automatics, derringers, sniper rifles or automatic weapons, that school boys can improvise.