Husband Wades into Cookie Conundrum

DEAR ABBY: My wife is part of a Christmas cookie exchange with her sisters-in-law and her mother. Three of them make beautiful, tasty cookies. The other one's cookies aren't very good, so the others don't put them on their trays. Instead, they happily accept them and then "give them away."

I believe someone should reach out to this woman and "gently" suggest she make a different kind of cookie so she isn't wasting her time, energy and money. I have been told to stay out of it. Your thoughts? -- WASTE OF COOKIES IN NEW YORK

DEAR WASTE OF COOKIES: Ideally, the woman might want to know that her cookie isn't well-liked. In the real world, however, her feelings might be hurt. You have been outvoted. Right now, everybody's happy. If the temptation to say something becomes overwhelming, put a "good" cookie in your mouth and keep it shut.

DEAR GOING FORWARD: You are not unfair, but this isn't your decision. It is your brother's and your mother's. Of course she doesn't want to give up her drinking buddy! You stated that she drinks every day. One of the warning signs of alcoholism is when someone's drinking disrupts relationships. Your mother's drinking is now negatively affecting her relationship with her husband, her son and you.

Because it appears she's unwilling to give up her drinking and gossip sessions with Jenny, it might be helpful for the rest of you to attend some Al-Anon meetings and learn to cope with this. You will find meetings are available online and almost everywhere if you visit al-anon.org/info.