Hamilton: Nelson turns 89 at concert in Austin
HOLLYWOOD--God bless America, and how’s everybody? Willie Nelson celebrated his eighty-ninth birthday by giving a concert at his ranch outside Austin and releasing a new album Sunday, following a show the night before with George Strait. Willie’s legend alone ruled out any birthday presents. What do you give to the man who has smoked everything?
The National Football League had its annual college player draft Thursday at MGM’s showroom in Las Vegas. New players allow for hope to spring eternal for NFL fans. It’s a fact that during child labor, the pain is so intense that a woman is able to imagine what it feels like to be a Dallas Cowboys fan.
Closer magazine says Baby Boomer dating sites are luring millions back to romance. I’ve been accused of being too high-handed to commit to the effort that genuine love requires. I asked Alexa last week how I can improve in my relationships with women and the thing hasn’t shut up for seven days.
NASCAR scored a big TV ratings success by scheduling a race on Easter Sunday in the Monster Energy NASCAR
Cup Series at the Bristol Motor Speedway. As for the drivers, Danica Patrick just disclosed she’s having a reverse boob job. Eighty-one million Americans are considering the same thing.
Bill Clinton was invited to the White House for lunch by President Biden Monday, indicating that Democrats in power are finally turning to their smartest politician for political advice. His whole life has been politics since childhood. Bill didn’t even have a high school girlfriend until he was thirty-eight.
President Biden’s lunch with Bill Clinton for advice topped the news Monday. Bill told him that when all about you are losing their heads, be sure and get some yourself. Joe’s poll numbers are so low he should go to a séance and get Teddy Kennedy’s advice instead on how to escape from underwater.
British MP Neal Parish resigned after he was caught viewing porn while seated in Commons. He says he Googled tractors but got directed to Porn Hub. You have never felt lust until you have put your feet up on the desk and watched two tractors having sex. Neal just got a John Deere letter from his wife.
Russia Foreign Minister Lazrov incited fury in Israel positing how Nazism is possible in Ukraine under the Jewish President Zelensky. He claimed Hitler had Jewish blood. The uproar reminded me of when I performed in Austin and reminded Texas fans that Darrell Royal was a quarterback at Oklahoma.
Russia’s Vladimir Putin did not tamp down Russian lawmakers’ demands to expand the Ukraine war into NATO countries on Monday. During the fighting on the battlefields of Ukraine, Russia has lost a general a week. The more time passes, the less Vladimir Putin is concerned about a military coup.
Ukraine’s President Vladimir Zelensky continued meeting with top U.S. government officials this past week and secured more arms amid all the horrors. After meeting Nancy Pelosi this past Sunday, Ukraine’s president asked that if next time we could send Amber Heard instead. It’d leave less of a mess.
House Speaker Nancy Pelosi flew into the war zone Sunday to meet face to face with Ukrainian President Vladimir Zelensky about proving more U.S. weapons. Everyone applauded the display of bravery. A possibly doomed leader with little time left in power shows the courage to meet with Zelensky.
The White House named Nina Jankowicz to head a Disinformation Board. She called the Hunter Biden video a Trump scam and she touted the TrumpRussian collusion hoax. Putting Nina Jankowicz in charge of Disinformation is like naming Jeffrey Dahmer Director of the Centers for Eating Disorders.
Homeland Security head Alejandro Mayorkas on CNN Sunday urged migrants not to come to the U.S. border. He said his focus of concern is the U.S. border in Arizona and California and Texas. New Mexico never makes the news about immigration unless Alec Baldwin’s film crew enters the state legally.