Hamilton: Rich Strike struck it rich in Kentucky Derby
HOLLYWOOD --- God bless America, and how’s everybody? The Kentucky Derby was won by 80-1 long shot Rich Strike over the heavy favorite Epicenter on Saturday at Churchill Downs. It was like something you only see in the movies. As Rich Strike was accepting the cup for winning the Derby, Epicenter rushed to the winner’s circle and slapped him.
The Betty Ford Center reports it’s is experiencing record high patient intakes this year likely due to the at-home drinking and drugging during the pandemic shutdowns.TMZ reported on Sunday that Lindsay Lohan is hanging around the wrong crowd again. She spent Mother’s Day with her mother.
The Johnny Depp-Amber Heard trial riveted the country Friday with the gory and embarrassing personal details of their celebrity marriage gone bad. It is widely believed now that Depp fastened a clothes pin over his nose whenever he went to bed at night. He was hoping to achieve Heard immunity.
Dave Chappelle ripped L.A.’s DA for not filing felony charges against his onstage attacker at the Hollywood Bowl. No charges were filed against Will Smith for assaulting Chris Rock, either. Now the January Sixth rioters could get off Scot-free by claiming the U.S. Capitol is just another comedy club.
Senator Chuck Schumer reacted to the draft decision that’d strike down Roe vs. Wade by pushing a bill to legalize abortion and take it out of the Supreme Court’s hands. We’re getting decisive direction from the top. Joe Biden declared he’s determined to reverse Roe vs. Wade and change it to Wade vs. Roe.
The Doomsday Clock was moved up another minute closer to midnight by scientists Friday. It’s little wonder why. We live in a world where Jews don’t recognize Jesus, Muslims don’t recognize Israel, Protestants don’t recognize the Pope, and Baptists don’t recognize each other at the liquor store.
Journal Lancet in Britain published a study of male sexual triggers that found that when women wear a leather dress, a man’s knees go weak, breathing deepens, heartbeat increases, and his mouth gets dry. The symptoms say it all. Whenever a woman weathers a leather dress, she smells like a new car.
The London Daily Mail reports it appears Vladimir Putin has begun to purge old business allies after one of the wealthy oligarchs who run state monopolies was thrown off a building last week. Police said he died of natural causes, since after all, gravity is natural. It was recorded as corona virus.
House and Senate Democrats spoke at angry rallies in front of the Supreme Court, insisting that abortion is an inherent constitutional right by now. GOP lawmakers are lying low. It’s good that the Capitol Hill Republicans are pro-life because they’ve spent the last eighteen months in the fetal position.
Delaware laptop repairman Mac Isaac recalled how wired Hunter Biden was when he brought in his lurid laptop videos for repairs five years ago. It’s not easy getting well. In the early Eighties, I phoned the Cocaine Addiction Call Center, but the operator told me they’re busy, and to try another line.
The Discovery Channel will honor Gay Pride Month in June by airing a documentary called The Book of Queer listing notable gay people in history. It claims Abraham Lincoln was gay. I don’t think that’s true, otherwise the Treasury Department would have printed his portrait on the $3 bill.
Texas famous rattlesnake handler Eugene De Leon was bitten on the shoulder by a rattlesnake while he was performing onstage with the snakes at the Texas Rattlesnake Roundup and died. The ambulance couldn’t get him to the hospital on time. The question is, what did he have on Hillary?
Caroline Kennedy was confirmed as Ambassador to Australia on Friday. Her financials given to the Senate eight years ago revealed she’s worth $500 million, and she’s one of Joe Kennedy’s 29 grandkids to whom he equally divided his fortune. Misers make the worst spouses but they make the best ancestors.