Hamilton: Reporter tells Americans to shut up, pay for gas
HOLLYWOOD --- God bless America, and how’s everybody?
The Washington Post financial reporter posted a video scolding Americans for griping about gas prices and she ordered you to shut up, pay the higher price and go enjoy your nice vacation. Is she ill? I can say things like that because I’m a Royalist, but she’s got no right to talk to Americans that way.
Wall Street analysts told business reporters Tuesday that the recent Bitcoin crypto-currency crash has produced low reserves which make this the time to buy. That’s cheery. Right now the difference between a cryptocurrency trader and a pigeon is the pigeon can still make a deposit on a new Mercedes.
The Census Bureau released its annual list of baby names most-given to newborn boys and girls during the previous year and top names in 2021 were Liam and Olivia. Many parents will name their baby after expensive stuff—Mercedes, Dior, Chardonnay. Next year watch for Electric, Gas and Sir Loin.
The Times of India reported that Sweden’s retail giant IKEA opened its flagship store in India Friday with four hundred seventy thousand square feet of floor space. You might want to skip the food court. IKEA just admitted that their meatballs are made out of people who couldn’t find the exit.
Nancy’s husband Paul Pelosi was finally charged with DUI in Napa Valley Friday. It turns out there was a mysterious witness in Paul’s car, possibly a woman, when he crashed. So many men in Paul’s generation grew up hoping to be like Jack Kennedy but turned out to be more like Teddy Kennedy.
FINA’s Women’s Swimming Championships are underway in Budapest under the ruling body’s ban on transgender women from competing against biological women. Security is very tight. Last week during the pre-trial meet, an alert security guard spotted a suspicious package on the diving board
President Biden praised the CDC’s effort to vaccinate kids Thursday and warned Americans that another pandemic is coming. I’ll make out my will. I’d just like to say publicly if the next pandemic forces me to go into a twenty-four-hour lockdown with my girlfriend and I die, it won’t be from the virus.
Kamala Harris botched a history lesson Monday telling school kids that slavery existed in the U.S. for 400 years. Her star is waning. The Democratic National Committee now charges Democrats five thousand dollars for a photo with Vice President Harris, and six thousand dollars for a photo without her.
Justice Department agents raided the home of Trump Justice Department attorney Jeffrey Clark in a pre-dawn sweep looking for evidence they can find to nail the former president. Trump has the crowd on their feet. If you score three impeachments, fans celebrate by throwing their hats into the ring.
President Biden got blowback from Democrats after he proposed a gas tax holiday. They said it’ll cause more inflation by replenishing the Highway Fund it robs. Dr. Frankenstein once entered the Mr. Transylvania contest and discovered he seriously misunderstood the objective of a body building contest.
The Supreme Court struck down New York’s gun law that infringed on the Second Amendment rights of New Yorkers. The last time I was in New York, I thought I was having a heart attack when I felt a shooting pain in my arm. The ER doctor examined me and told me sure enough, I’d been shot in the arm.
Nike disclosed Thursday it’s ending the manufacture of all Nike goods in Russia and closing all Nike stores there. It gives Russia the moral high ground. Our oil embargo has doubled their oil business, the departure of McDonald’s restored their health, and without Nike they have no connection to slavery.
National Geographic reported huge interest this year in hunting alligators and exotic reptiles roaming around the marshes of Florida. Just last week, Florida’s largest python in history was caught in the saw grass of the Everglades. The snake in the grass was a partner at the law firm of Huntington, Hamilton and Grift.