Local couple look to surrogacy to help them have a baby
Dayton woman has rare skin condition.
Most people have never heard of a rare condition called recessive dystrophic epidermolysis bullosa nor do they know it is characterized by widespread skin blistering that can lead to vision loss, disfigurement and other serious medical problems. Children born with this disorder are sometimes called “butterfly children” because their skin is as fragile as a butterfly.
Erika Slifer of Dayton was born in Richmond, Indiana, in the early ’90s. Her older brother, Jacob, had been born three years before with RDEB. Though the disease is serious and complex, Slifer’s parents decided to have another baby after doctors said the chances of their second child being born with the same disorder was only 25%.
“I was diagnosed with RDEB almost right after I was born, but it took about three weeks for Jacob’s diagnosis,” Slifer said. “When my brother was born, his inner heels were completely raw, and he had sections of skin missing. They wrapped him head to toe and sent him home.”
Slifer describes her childhood as “fully focused” on daily treatments, like changing bandages and surgeries to release fingers after they fused together, a common occurrence for people with RDEB. Eventually, Slifer said her family learned that continual surgeries of this type were no longer helping.
“It was a brutal process,” Slifer said. “We had pins in our fingers and our hands were completely gloved.”
As Slifer grew, she started to experience dilation of her esophagus and she and Jacob are also at greater risk for developing skin cancer and infections because of their condition. But their parents were determined that their children have normal lives. At least as much as was possible.
After graduating from Richmond High School in 2011, Slifer attended Hanover College, a private school in Indiana, where she majored in psychology with a minor in communication. From
there, she went on to earn her master’s degree in mental health counseling, specializing in adolescents and children. In college, she would meet her future husband, Ted Mendenhall.
“Ted and I are a Tinder success story,” Slifer said. “We matched on Tinder on Feb. 12, 2016, and had our first date a few days later.”
The couple moved in together that September and were married on Oct. 10, 2020.
Mendenhall, who was born in Chillicothe, grew up a product of divorced parents, and he and his brother lived for many years in what he describes as a dysfunctional family home. His mother remarried. His biological father passed away when Mendenhall was 15.
“My mom had a lot of mental health problems, and, eventually, her second marriage ended,” Mendenhall said.
Eventually the brothers moved in with their half sister and Mendenhall started college. But he also began to experience mental health problems and was unable to finish school. Meanwhile, his younger brother was also struggling and began using drugs, which ultimately led to his early death.
“I didn’t want to stay in Chillicothe anymore after that,” Mendenhall said.
Slifer and Mendenhall met on Tinder shortly afterward.
Almost from the beginning, the couple began to discuss having a family. But Slifer has had both feet amputated due to cancer and is fighting several squamous cell cancers on her hand. Today, she mostly gets around with a wheelchair. Her doctors have advised the couple that Slifer should not risk carrying a child.
“I started researching surrogacy,” Slifer said. “There are not a lot of people over 20 years old with this condition. Having a child has always been a dream for both of us.”
After a few frustrating false starts, Slifer and Mendenhall have found their surrogate and this month will attempt a frozen embryo implant.
“I know I will not be able to do as much as an able-bodied mother can do,” Slifer said. “But we want to do this now so I can be here for our baby, if even for a short while.”
Slifer knows her life expectancy will be much shorter than people without RDEB. In fact, only a small percentage will survive into their 30s. But she and Mendenhall are determined to not only have their own baby, but to raise him or her in a loving home together for as long as possible.
“Our baby will survive my loss because Ted will still be here, and he will love the baby enough for the both of us,” Slifer said. “We are over the moon with hope, and if it’s a boy, we want to name him after Ted’s little brother so we can carry on his memory.”