Hartford Courant (Sunday)

Author

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friend and expose other instances of humiliatin­g dress-coding in her school.

To research her book, Firestone said she asked friends on Facebook to share stories of unfair dress-coding. She got an earful, which led to many other stories.

“The more I interviewe­d teens, the more horrified I was,” Firestone said. “Up until then, I was always complainin­g about what my girls were wearing. The parent default mode is, ‘You really need to be more thoughtful about what you wear.’ Since then I had a complete transforma­tion about that comment. I really had to think about why we’re all sort of conditione­d to say these things.”

Firestone wants her book to start a conversati­on and be a blueprint for activism.

In an interview, Firestone discusses dress coding and how it is rooted in misogyny, lookism and racism.

Q: Girls are targeted more than boys, but are certain kind of girls targeted more than others?

A: Yes. People who self-identify as female are targeted. Black girls were disproport­ionately targeted. It’s not just their clothes, it’s their hair. The Crown Act is a law that some states are trying to pass that prohibits hair discrimina­tion. One of the characters in the book is targeted because of the size of her hair. That’s actually a big problem.

Q: How does a family’s income affect dress coding?

A: Girls who are 12 or 13 may have grown three inches in one month and their parents don’t always have the budget to head to the mall to buy them a whole new wardrobe. There’s a definite element of social class to it.

Q: How are dress coding and body shaming related issues?

A: Some girls develop at an earlier age. Middle school is where this is the biggest problem. One of the girls I spoke to said a girl who hadn’t developed in seventh grade wore an outfit to school. Her friend who was developed wore the same outfit. Her friend was dress coded and she was not. Also, girls with long legs who can’t find shorts that fall below the fingertips. Girls who are more developed are more sexualized by school staff. It seems strange that an adult needs to police 12and 13-year-old girls just at that moment of physical growth and developmen­t. That’s really disturbing to me.

Q: How does dress coding hurt girls’ selfesteem?

A: Girls are already selfconsci­ous at that age. They feel the need when they to go to school to hide or cover themselves because they’re freaked out by people policing their bodies. It’s very hard for girls to just be themselves. That’s why there’s the hashtag, #DressInPea­ce. Also the humiliatio­n erodes girls’ feeling of self-worth and makes them feel self-conscious all the time. Nobody in middle school wants to be called out in front of their peers.

Q: How does dress coding hurt a girl’s academic performanc­e?

A: Dress coding is an exercise of power and control. One young woman, a top student, an honor student, who takes school very seriously, for her to be removed from class and sent to change in the middle of class was terrible.

She is now missing class. For top students, that would cause a lot of anxiety.

Q: How does dress coding lead to slut shaming?

A: The very nature of dress coding is slut shaming. Somebody reached out to me recently who had read an early copy of the book. When her daughter was in high school, a teacher said to her friend, you look like a prostitute in that outfit. This is the undercurre­nt. Your bra straps are showing, therefore you are somehow

looking like a slut.

Q: Would boys want to read this book, too?

A: Yes. I really hope parents of boys read this book with their boys. I shared the advance copy with a friend’s son. She told me it changed the way he thought about things. He stepped out to defend a 12-year-old classmate who was reprimande­d because her bra strap was showing.

Q: How does dress coding contribute to rape culture?

A: The message dress coding gives to girls is, you are responsibl­e for the way boys think and behave. It gives the message to boys, you’re not responsibl­e for your own thoughts and actions and behaviors. It sets up a toxic and scary culture of ‘what was she wearing’ in rape situations. You can connect the dots.

Q: How is the dress code policy in Avon schools?

A: I have to say this so it is very clear. The Avon school district has been fantastic, proactivel­y assessing and changing their dress code policy. I reached out to ask them and they said, oh yes, we are in the middle of amending that. And it is now a very solid policy.

Carrie Firestone’s website is carriefire­stoneautho­r.com.

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