PEER PRESSURE Why I stuggle to say no when all they want is a hug

based on public health recommendations. Naively, maybe, I assumed that everyone would be under the same scrutiny.

Now, don’t get me wrong — I’ve seen my closest friends regularly. At least twice a week, I’ve spent time in small groups with the people I love. I haven’t been perfect. I don’t always wear my mask when we are in private (outside, of course), and there have been instances where we’ve violated the 6-foot divide. Besides the Fauci on my shoulder telling me to respect the rules, the anticipated guilt I’d have if I infected my family has kept me in line most of the time.

As the date of the party neared, I couldn’t wait to see my friends before everybody left for college. But as the guest list grew, so did my doubts. Still, I tried to convince my parents that I could manage this. I explained how I would stay separated from the maskless, how I could create a safe zone for myself. Besides, we were in Connecticut, which currently has one of the lowest Covid-19 rates in the U.S.

My parents were worried that I wouldn’t be able to follow the social distancing guidelines, no matter how hard I tried. I knew they didn’t want me to go.

But the more I tried to make my point, the more I realized that they were right. “Of course your friends will understand,” my parents said. “Blame it on us if you have to.”

I texted the host and told them I couldn’t make it. I thought my friends would understand.

They didn’t. They were annoyed. They made me feel like I was ruining their night. I felt my eyes fill with tears. I was stunned that my decision not to go had been contorted into something they could be mad at; I was angry at how unfair it was for me to have to follow rules and for them not to, and I was sad that I couldn’t see my friends.

At that moment, it struck me why so many teenagers are going to unsafe social events right now. It’s not because they don’t care or are uninformed. Rather, it’s that age-old culprit: peer pressure.

The public school system has drilled into my head that I can avoid peer pressure by just saying no. When I was 14, a friend offered me a ride to school for an evening event. I shyly accepted her offer, and on the short ride, she asked me if I wanted a hit from her marijuana vaping pen. I said no and she shrugged it off, a completely