BUT WE GOT NO LOVE BACK
When COVID-19 hit Connecticut’s nursing homes, we cared for your loved ones,
Too many people lost their lives, and people like me are still suffering. Black and brown people, we are the ones who suffer the most. Blacks and Latinos have died at twice the rate of whites. People of color are more likely to work in nursing homes. Of the 7,800 deaths in Connecticut from the
virus, most were among the poor and elderly, and nearly half were in nursing homes.
I’m not an old person. I’m 48 years old. But there are days when I get up and I just can’t move. My joints are so stiff. All because of COVID-19. I feel angry. I am among the forgotten casualties of this pandemic.
A year ago, on March 23, I had to leave work because I was struggling to breathe. I am a certified nurse’s aide at Kimberly Hall North, a nursing home in Windsor. It’s a job I love, and it’s critical work for the people we serve. On March 29, someone from work called me at home asking me to get tested because of positive cases there.
Two days later, I was again fighting hard to breathe when I was in the shower. I called out to God to help me because I didn’t want to die right there.
The virus, still new then, was sweeping through Kimberly Hall North, where there now have been more than 40 COVID-related deaths. Front-line workers at many nursing homes across the state were exposed without proper or sufficient protective gear. Some of us weren’t getting the N95 masks that were provided to nurses and doctors. Yet we were the ones helping patients and sometimes working with short staffing.
Once the pandemic started, visitors were prohibited at Kimberly Hall. We CNAs became our patients’ daughters, sons and caregivers. We felt for their loved ones, who were forced to stay away, helpless and in too many cases unable to say goodbye. That’s a pain I felt
April 19 when my mother, Hazel Bailey, died of COVID-19. She had hugged and comforted me when I was gasping for air. And even though my family tells me not to, there’s not a single day that I don’t blame myself for what happened to her. She died at 73 alone in the hospital, away from her children and grandchildren.
Too many people lost their lives, and people like me are still suffering. Black and brown people, we are the ones who suffer the most. Blacks and Latinos have died at twice the rate of whites. People of color are more likely to work in nursing homes. Of the 7,800 deaths in Connecticut from the virus, most were among the poor and elderly, and nearly half were in nursing homes.
Now that vaccinations are here and more people have gotten the message to wear masks and take other precautions, there is hope. I worry, however, that in the rush to put this terrible year behind us, the governor and nursing home administrators have not taken COVID’s lessons to heart. Gov. Ned Lamont’s proposed budget has mostly frozen funding for nursing homes.
Workers who leave their homes to care for those with COVID-19 and risk their lives and their families’ health deserve recognition. Long-term care workers should make a minimum of $20 an hour, have health insurance and receive retirement benefits. Many health care workers are forced to work multiple jobs to make ends meet. During a pandemic, this increases their exposure to the virus and the risk of them carrying the illness elsewhere. They cannot afford to stay home from work. They can’t care for their patients by streaming video on Zoom.
I know money isn’t going to bring back our health and our loved ones, but we nursing home workers deserve a decent payday after all we’ve been through. And the state of Connecticut must be better prepared for the next public
health crisis. I hope nursing homes and the Department of Public Health listen. We workers are demanding to get the proper resources and staffing needed to take care of ourselves and our residents with dignity.
This virus has not left us yet, and experts say it could be with us for years. COVID-19 cases may be lower now than in December, but this does not mean longterm care facilities can just return to business as usual. Front-line workers should be given wages and benefits that match the important work we do every day.
I now test negative for COVID-19, but my cough continues. I battle aches and pains. My 6-year-old daughter keeps asking why I cry: “Is it because of Grandma?” I try to let her know that it’s OK. I put my best outside for her. When I feel sick, all I can think of is, “If I die, who’s going to take care of her?”