Hartford filmmaker tells story of Black trans woman’s gender confirmation surgery
A Connecticut woman’s journey through gender confirmation surgery is at the heart of a new locally lensed documentary that debuted March 31, the International Day of Trans Visibility. “T-Girl” is not just a deeply personal transition story, but an affectionate and unflinching look at the experience of a Black trans woman.
Hartford filmmaker and artist Ephraim Adamz interviewed Ciara Ta-Halor before and after the surgery for his new documentary “T-Girl: The Truth in Transitioning.” “T-Girl” will be streamed again in May, then be online for all of Pride Month in June, with details to come.
The documentary is refreshingly laid-back, a casual and frank talk between friends about a life-changing event. “What was the first time like, going to the bathroom?,” Adamz asks. There is discussion of the recuperation process, sexual intimacy and the importance of a strong self-identity.
“Everybody was telling me not to do it,” Ta-Halor shares in the documentary, concerning her decision to get the surgery, adding that “it had to happen.”
“I always felt like a girl,” Ta-Halor says in response to Adamz’ questions. At a very young age, she says, “I said I was Beyonce.” She recalls “sneaking out to the woods” to play with her cousin’s Barbie dolls.
“I don’t know what to
call it,” Adamz says of the project. “It’s an hour and a half sitdown, straightforward and direct. The first hour is pre-operation: Who is Ciara, where is she from, what is her upbringing? What did she face from her family, friends and school, the bullying and disparity? Finally, when we get through all that, we meet her mom, see her home, meet her boyfriend and get a sense of her situation. It’s very inviting, almost like sitting in on a private conversation.
The deeply informative informality is also, he says, “meant to help anyone else who’s considering the surgery. Bottom surgery is not something you can undo, unlike top surgery.
It’s a different process of decision-making. I wanted to have a very discussion of ‘What exactly is your experience?’ I wanted to show how different it is, but not grotesque or odd or exploitative. Then we got into what she’s going through now: the nutrition, the diet, the hormones, how she takes them, how they affect her body. I wanted her to be able to talk freely, the way the LGBTQ culture communicates among ourselves.”
“The inspiration for me was my advocacy work.
I’m around trans individuals a lot. Being a DJ and a musician, ever since I came out [as gay] in 2014, I have drawn the attention of the trans community. It’s just that pairing of being in the arts. We just built that bond, with me learning about their struggles, what they go through.”
“T-Girl” is also infused with party scenes and even a one-woman fashion show. “She talks about being a model,” Adamz says. “I thought, let’s celebrate her achievement of just being able to get the surgery. The photo shoot is that celebration. I called a photographer friend who does that type of photography.” The scene takes place in the historic Goodwin Hotel on Haynes Street, which Adamz effusively describes in the documentary as “where all the celebrities in Connecticut used to check in at in the ‘90s.”
The glamour is balanced with reality. “I’m a starving artist and struggling filmmaker,” Adamz says. “Ciara is not in the best situation, with her mother, her family, trying to find work... Our life is not glamorous by any means. There’s freedom and liberation here, but life is not all milk and cookies.”
“I knew Ciara personally. She saw what I was working on over the years, so she approached me and said ‘I need you to tell my story.’ I wanted to show just how organically this happens. With the national holiday coming up” — International Trans Day of Visibility, founded in 2009 as an awareness event to complement the memorial-themed Transgender Day of Remembrance in
November — I decided to get it done for that.” The film also reflects on “everything taking place last year within the Black community,” Adamz feels. “Ciara’s story speaks to me because of my race and my orientation. It talks about how racism plays a role in society as a whole.
But the biggest message of “T-Girl,” Adamz says, is that “this is something to celebrate. Celebrate just the power of Ciara being herself and expressing herself.”