Just A Click Apart But Friends Slip Away

‘Keep in touch!”

Easier said than done … Having friends all over the country, all over the world is incredible. I receive postcards from Thailand, phone calls from Colorado and FaceTimes from Minnesota, But being a good friend takes more than just, “Hey how are you?” texts and the occasional Facebook tag. Staying in touch with close high school and college friends can be the most challenging part of growing up.

Growing up doesn’t have to mean growing apart, but I am struggling with being a good friend to the people who have come with me on my journey thus far. For some all it takes is a quick, I’m thinking about you text and you’re golden. But for others, the lack of communication prompts them to think you simply don’t care.

It’s ironic, considering that people my age grew up in the most connected generation in history. Friends have always been a click away, a funny Instagram tag, a Facebook friend or even an email or phone call. It has never been easier to contact someone, but, in a way, that makes it more difficult as you move through school and into work.

The truth of the matter is that we are all busy. I find it tough to make time for myself, let alone others. Days will pass and I haven’t checked my mailbox or made a home-cooked meal. Balance is truly the most difficult thing in my life right now.

I want my friends to know I am thinking about them; the ones still in Connecticut who I haven’t seen in five years, the ones across the country who are in a different time zone and the friends on the other side of the world who don’t even have access to Wi-Fi. I am always thinking about my friends, but I can’t always turn thoughts into actions.

This thought about keeping in touch came to me last week when I received a notice that my five-year high school reunion is in November. I thought about the friends I’ve truly forgotten, the pals from my past and the classmates I never got to know. I started to think about how important old friends become as you get — well — older. Of course, you can’t keep close relationships with everyone, but a simple phone call here and there means the difference between maintaining a friendship and losing one.

Friendships are like brewing coffee, the right coffee-to-water ratio produces the perfect pot, but a slip-up in the ratio can cause it to taste unpleasant. I guess what I’m trying to say is that it takes two evenly balanced factors to make a friendship work.

It’s one thing to be aware of fleeting friendships and make more of an effort to reel that person back in, but it’s another to acknowledge that few things gold can stay. The four best friends you had in high school dwindle to one, your college crew dissipates to a solid few, but what I’ve realized is that that is OK. While some relationships may fade over the years, it becomes easier to cherish those who’ve remained constant.

Making a conscious effort to strengthen my friendships sounds like, well effort. But I wouldn’t be the person I am today without them, which makes the effort, effortless. Keeping in touch is harder than it sounds, but it is unbelievably rewarding to know you have friends who have been with you through so much.

Here’s my advice, call your college roommate, your high school best friend, the person who normally makes all the effort — show them how much you care and how important they are. Because reaching out could mean the difference between giving up on true friends and maintaining meaningful relationships.