Diversity, equity, inclusion and belonging is not just an acronym

There’s something to be said about living with a hybrid identity.

Throughout my life, I have felt that I have toggled between two worlds, often with dichotomous expectations and confusing results. Born to an educated yet traditional Punjabi family, spending my formative years in Pakistan, going to school in the affluent suburbs of California and wanting so desperately to belong, I knew I never did.

When I was younger, I went to school with a long, slick braid, small gold hoops and glasses. It was a stark juxtaposition to the tank tops and jeans that were a staple in my high school. I wore baggy clothes and long pants in the hot Sacramento sun and was hyperfocused on academic achievement and long-term goals.

Because I had learned English from reading the dictionary, I spoke formally and directly. I always felt that the world was on my shoulders because I came from a country where women were often viewed and treated as second-class citizens. I had to break the narrative.

I never fit in Pakistani spaces either. Almost 6 feet tall with green eyes, freckles and an affinity to speak my mind in either English or Urdu, I was not the archetype of what friends and colleagues thought of when they described what it means “to be Pakistani.” It still angers me as I reflect on what I was told by peers: “You don’t act Pakistani.” The imposition of behavioral expectations and what it means to be a part of their group has had consequences that have reverberated a lifetime. Even now, it takes time for me to build trust and comfort within new South Asian communities.

I know what belonging means from a theoretical perspective: Its definition is complicated and layered. In the truest sense of the word, belonging signifies authenticity, that you can be your true self in life and at work, embrace your imperfections and have a place to express yourself in a manner that does not lead to judgment or reprisal. Belonging means that you can have difficult days and still be accepted as an asset to your team and organization. It means that you can voice your dissent without having to calculate your words. Belonging means true acceptance. It signifies that your leadership and skills carry your work and by speaking up, you are not caricatured for your race, gender, immigrant status or language skills.

I have dedicated my life to understanding belonging as both a concept and a practice. I studied the power of relationships for my PH.D., reflect on its purpose as a mother of two small children, and define what it looks like within the corporate world. At my company committed to serving teachers and students, belonging is top of mind. I spend days strategizing on how to create spaces of power for employee resource groups, defining and driving systems-level change, and partnering with our chief inclusion officer on not simply our intentions, but our impact. The question always remains: how are we being authentic in our mission to make our employees seen, heard and valued?

Diversity, equity, inclusion and belonging efforts at companies are considered vital. DEIB is not just an acronym, it is a guiding light for transformative business practices. Cultivating a culture where employees can feel like they truly belong can shift how they perform, their connection to the company’s long-term potential, and how meaningful they find their work and each other. It’s small steps that cultivate a culture of belonging, one in which teams find value in relationships, courageous conversations and an authentic desire to learn about each other. Creating a culture of belonging needs to be clearly articulated, designed, tended to, implemented and reinforced. Creating a culture of belonging to me includes:

1. Asking questions to authentically learn: When I was younger, my peers never asked me where I came from, what fueled me, why I was the way I was. I never volunteered that information, so we coexisted in silence. There was no collective learning, no desire to engage, and it truly was a missed opportunity for connections. In organizational spaces now, where there is such breadth and diversity of experience, it’s important to engage in a way that makes us come closer. “What gives you hope? What are the values that you prioritize and have brought you here” and “how can I support you?” are questions that begin meaningful discussions.

2. Stepping back from stereotypes: I often get the “What are you?” question. “You don’t look Pakistani,” is a common reaction. I have had strangers correct my ancestry, confidently tracing my genealogy as I silently look on. Though anchored in seemingly good intentions and a desire to engage, this question seeks to put my experience in a box based on my perceived racial background. It’s important to note that there is incredible diversity within the same racial and ethnic community with no one experience signifying a “true experience.” There are bits and pieces that we take from everyone who we interface with.

3. Reflecting on your own biases and feeling moved to change them: We all have stereotypes. Unpacking why we have them, where we learned them and how to be better is an individual call to action. Change takes time, but being mindful of how we view the world and what we could do to better the experience of another requires skill and emotional intelligence. I find that the most respected leaders are those who are honest about their imperfections, committed to personal growth and are willing to engage with those who push them to do better.

4. Setting concrete steps for growth:

For teammates to feel a sense of belonging, it needs to be defined and measured. What does belonging look and feel like? How can there be a shared accountability within the team to create spaces of power where everyone can feel valued? How are we keeping ourselves and each other accountable to not just hear each other’s stories but elevate them in a way that makes for lasting change?

My whole life has been a series of moments where I have felt unwelcome or unseen. That has fueled my desire to be intentional with how I call people in and create spaces of power and vulnerability for others in professional spaces.

For there to be meaningful and long-lasting change, we need to invest in the hard work of building each other up. It’s not someone else’s problem. It’s ours. And if we don’t prioritize the B in DEIB work, we are going to be looking at a dark, lonely road ahead.