Daughter shuts door on mom for remarrying
Dear Abby:
I am 54. My daughter is 25 and married with two kids. Her dad and I have been divorced for almost 10 years. Three years ago, I met a wonderful man. After dating for about a year, we were married. It’s been heavenly; I love my life.
My problem is my daughter. She’s angry that I remarried. She told me she should be first in my life. She no longer calls me Mom and now calls me by my first name when she talks to me, which isn’t often. I am no longer allowed to be around her or my grandchildren.
I am heartbroken. I feel like she expects me to choose between my husband and her. Abby, she is married and has her own family. I was very lonely until I finally found happiness. I don’t want to be cut out of her life, and I have no intention of leaving my husband. Please tell me what to do.
Heartbroken in South Carolina
Dear Heartbroken:
For your emotional well-being, accept that you have an immature, selfish, resentful daughter who is determined to punish you for going on with your life. Much as you might wish to, you can’t change another person. You can, however, change yourself by looking straight ahead and toughening up your hide.
That your daughter would punish her children by depriving them of a grandmother who loves them for the reason she has is disgraceful. My advice is to move on, and if you’re “stuck,” talk about it with a licensed mental health counselor.
Dear Abby:
My wife and I are board members of a local club. Yesterday, we attended a special board meeting intended to resolve an issue within the club.
Prior to the meeting, my wife and I agreed that we were against the proposed action. After much discussion, a voice vote was taken, and I ended up casting the only “no” vote.
I feel betrayed because my wife told me one thing and then did the exact opposite.
How do I move past this resentment? It’s difficult to have a rational discussion with her because she easily becomes angry and emotional.
David in Florida
Dear David:
Calmly ask your wife why she changed her vote after having agreed she would vote in sync with you. Then let her explain. And in the future, be prepared to vote your conscience without support from her.