Tough talk hits Waco
Brian T. Smith writes about a rape victim bringing her horror story to Baylor.
She was the victim of a horrific gang rape. Four men, including three college football players. Assault, sodomy, robbery and drugged, she said. An innocent human being treated over and over again like worthless trash.
After the rape kit was taken and her pain was buried away, all she wanted to do was kill herself. She almost did. She lives more than 2,000 miles from Waco. The crime to which her name will be attached occurred almost two decades ago.
But Brenda Tracy will walk into what she calls the “lions’ den” Monday. She’ll stare at all the Bears and publicly confront them. Remember what it felt like having four men use, then dispose of her. Recall the horror when she learned of the sex scandals that eventually shattered Baylor’s ivory tower. And then Tracy will do what she always does. A once-shamed victim will start to speak.
Interim coach Jim Grobe will listen. What’s left of the Bears’ football team will silently watch. And 18 years after sexual assault forever scarred Tracy’s life, a 42-year-old registered nurse — who recently bared her soul at Nebraska and spoke to the NCAA last week — will again hope her words can create good.
Tracy also knows she’ll be nervous as heck and there’s no way she’s leaving Waco without crying a ton of tears.
“I just hold to the hope that someone is being affected by what I have to say,” said Tracy, a mother of two who lives in Tualatin, Ore. “And I hold on to this hope … that what I’m doing is going to prevent the Brenda Tracy story from happening to someone else.” Her story keeps changing lives. I got Tracy’s number from a colleague who first told her resurrection tale in 2014. Grobe got in contact with Tracy through Cornhuskers coach Mike Riley, who was guiding Oregon State when two of his players were accused of a vicious, heartless rape. Her message is being heard
The NCAA reached out to Tracy after she made waves at Nebraska in June, reconnecting with Riley and warning a new generation of young athletes about the life-changing toxicity produced when power, prestige, ignorance and sexual violence are mixed together.
Tracy later heard from someone in Australia. She was on the front page of a newspaper with Riley. Eighteen years after being gang-raped, she was inspiring unknown admirers oceans away.
“I feel like this is my calling and this is my purpose,” Tracy said. “I’m passionate about it. I’m not going to allow fear to stop me from doing what needs to be done.”
That doesn’t mean anything about her new life is easy. Tracy avoids Internet comments and is often alone in her cause. She’s Brenda Tracy, rape survivor. Many intentionally remain Jane Doe.
“It’s just me by myself,” Tracy said. “I don’t really have anyone to go to to talk about these things. So a lot of what I’m doing is a first. … There’s not a lot of female survivors.”
If you love screaming Sic ’Em and turning your hand into a bear claw, you might hate Tracy before she speaks.
After Waco’s crown jewel started crumbling, Tracy drew headlines for suggesting Baylor post-Art Briles should be shuttered for at least one season. Bears: Death penalty? That had Tracy’s name written all over it.
Then Grobe was hired to rebuild from the ashes and Riley completed his fractured circle.
According to Tracy, a 64-year-old man lured out of coaching retirement asked Riley what he thought about trying to get Tracy to visit Waco. Riley asked Tracy if it was OK to pass along her number. Then the man coaching Oregon State when Tracy was raped told the coach who took over Baylor everything he wanted to hear.
Riley said Grobe could bring in experts from all over the country to speak to his shaken team. But no one would have the personal impact or raw power of Tracy’s words.
Tracy spoke with Grobe twice before agreeing to step foot in the lions’ den.
“I tried to kind of get a feel for him,” Tracy said. “No. 1, he didn’t have to take that position. I’m not sure what coach would want to take on that mess, other than someone that wants to help.
“I feel like he wants to do something good there. And I want to help him.”
Tracy’s son, Darius Adams, also wanted to help, so he wrote a letter to the NCAA after Briles lost his halo and Ken Starr sounded so dumb.
An online petition in Tracy’s name to ban violent athletes had more than 155,000 signatures as of Saturday evening. NCAA president Mark Emmert read Adams’ words and the Board of Governors for college sports’ governing body might act in August.
But Tracy only felt her original horror after more Jane Does and Title IX lawsuits came to life. Outrage as history repeats
Might still meant right. No still meant yes. No one was listening and no one really cared if a precious college football player committed rape.
“I was really upset when that story broke. Like, really upset,” Tracy said. “Because my rape had happened almost 20 years prior. And I was like, ‘OK, great. Nothing has changed. Absolutely nothing has changed.’
“Why (isn’t the NCAA) stepping in and doing something? How can they sit around and allow this to continue to happen? There’s just thousands of mes, walking around hurt.”
Riley reaching out and Nebraska providing a stage were promising steps forward. The NCAA showing acrossthe-country interest was encouraging.
But Brenda Tracy, gang-rape survivor, standing up in front of all the Bears? That proves her words are heard. Riley once said that his accused players made a bad choice. Grobe sounded like a fool last week, insisting a few bad Bears simply misbehaved.
Tracy has been living with the pain of her real truth for 18 years. Monday in Waco, she’ll show Baylor what a rape survivor looks like.
“I’ve been blessed with the opportunity to go … and I’ve been invited there,” Tracy said. “I feel honored and privileged to be doing this kind of thing. It’s time.” Then she said the words again. Privileged athletes and sexual violence. Men hurting women. Changing a horrific culture for good.
“It’s time.”