Peaceful life for transgender children: Must it be a fantasy in Texas?

Difficult path made harder by hostile political climate

I wish I could write a story about a real transgender child, but I don’t know any. That doesn’t mean, however, that they do not exist.

I can easily imagine a child born as a boy not wishing to be a boy, tired of being encouraged by adults to play with boys who are interested in cars and trucks and trains, when he would really like to play with girls wholike to dress up dolls and invent their doll conversations. Because I amimagining this child, I choose to imagine him having such understanding and supportive parents that they eventually, if not at first, begin to notice the sadness their child carries with him, and so out of their great love for him, determinedly listen and consider their son’s deep desire to behave as a girl, and be treated as a girl, and after careful consideration and counsel, they begin to support him doing so, even though they know the obstacles in his path, from both children and adults, known and unknown. Love and understanding, and a capacity to envision a very different but happier life for their child, carries them forward on this journey.

I imagine the mixture of anxiety and excitement at the first shopping trip for new clothes. Maybe something pink, if she likes pink, and the skipped haircuts while a new hairstyle takes shape. I consider momanddad reaching out to family and close friends and, finally, to school staff to explain and describe this fairly unique situation, and to ask and receive support.

I imagine a little flurry of activity in the classroom when it is explained why she will be using the girls’ restroom, and the novelty of it, and the reaction of other school parents, both supportive and, not so much. I imagine that soon this change is a blip on the radar screen of the students and the school. Homelife settles into a new and happier routine. The fellow students have learned an important lesson — that we are each unique — and that there is no reason to villainize someone just for being different.

I imagine the concerned parents eventually coming to realize that this was not just a passing fancy but a need their own children do not have. I imagine they learn to respect the family and the school leaders for advocating for the child and for treating the situation with dignity and calm.

The path I have imagined is not easy, but with love and patience and understanding, it is both maneuverable and possible. Unfortunately for the citizens of the state of Texas, however, I appear to have imagined a fantasy. Our elected leaders in Austin have blown out of all proportion any attempts to assist parents and transgender students in our schools from moving forward in their transitioning and in the public’s acceptance of transgender individuals by preventing them from using the bathroom associated with their gender identity during the long school day.

Ahappier ending to this story would have our elected leaders in Austin putting themselves in the place of parents of transgender kids and considering whether they are making a mountain out of a molehill. Ditto our judiciary. It followed suit Monday, when a federal judge in Texas temporarily blocked the Obama administration’s directive to schools on the matter of who gets to use which restrooms and dressing rooms. Onthe first day of school, the ruling sent a message loudly and clearly. And for transgender students and their families, these political decisions are no fantasy: They are a nightmare.