Man’s declaration of love wavers when drunk
Dear Abby:
I have been living with my boyfriend for 11 months. Things are mostly good, but there are a few things I need your advice on.
He still hasn’t introduced me to his grown daughter, and he stays in contact with his ex-wife. When he gets drunk, he texts her and tells her he loves her and wants to go back home to her, but when he’s sober, he insists he loves only me and wants us to spend our lives together.
Do you think he’s still in love with her, or does he really love me? I have talked to his friends. They say he loves me and not her because he wouldn’t be with me if he didn’t.
Loves Me, Loves Me Not Dear L.M.L.M.N.:
Do I think your boyfriend is still in love with his ex? Let me put it this way — he still has feelings for her, but whether they are strong enough that she’s a threat to your relationship I can’t be sure.
What does need addressing, because you and he have been living together for nearly a year, is why you haven’t met the daughter and the fact that this man may have a drinking problem. Once you do, you’ll find the answers you’re looking for. Dear Abby:
Please encourage businesses to consider the benefits of hiring senior adults. They tend to be empty nesters and have skills that one can learn only from years of experience in the job market. Seniors are prompt, non- demanding and without a sense of self-entitlement. The baby boomer generation already knows the computer basics. They can be taught about software related to the job at hand, and they don’t have a tendency to “job hop.” Thanks for letting me have my say. Believes in Senior
Work Ethics Dear Believes:
What you say about senior workers is true. They are hardworking, dedicated and motivated. However, it is up to each employer to decide what qualities they want and need while hiring, and I wouldn’t presume to suggest they discriminate against a younger jobseeker. Dear Abby:
My 9-year-old granddaughter was invited to a birthday party for a friend. The invitation said “cash and gift cards only, please.” My daughter bought a card for her daughter and said she would put $20 in it. I’m Scottish; when she told me, I fainted. Then she said she had two $10s and would discuss it with her hubby.
What is an acceptable amount in this case? I’m glad I’m old. I appreciate it if someone still thinks enough of me to send a card.
Scotsman in Nova Scotia Dear Scotsman:
Pass the smelling salts my way because I, too, was taken aback when I read that a guest had been instructed on what kind of gift to bring to a birthday party. How rude!
Ask your daughter how she arrived at the amount of money she’s considering sending as birthday loot. The suggestion on the invitation was only that — a suggestion. She should determine an amount that suits her budget. That’s the amount she should give. Dear Abby:
“Breaking With the Past” (Feb. 29) said she no longer wishes to “schlep” her parents’ wedding album to yet another location when she moves again. You wisely advised her not to dispose of it hastily.
Another option might be for her to preserve the photos in a digital format, and then return the album to her mother or give it away as you suggested. That way, she can assure her sentimental mother that she still has the photos. In the future, she may come to value these keepsakes because they may contain important information about family members, in addition to her parents.
Cathy in Oregon Dear Cathy:
I had originally included the option of digitally scanning the photos in my answer but second-guessed myself while editing my column. Judging by the number of readers who wrote to suggest it, I should have left it in. It’s a common-sense option for “Breaking” to consider. Thank you for writing. To my Jewish readers:
As the sun sets tonight, Rosh Hashana, the Jewish New Year, begins. As we begin this time of solemn introspection, let me wish you all, “L’shana tova tikatevu” — may you be inscribed in the Book of Life for a good year. DearAbby.com Dear Abby P.O. Box 69440 Los Angeles, CA 90069 Universal Press Syndicate