Surely invitation isn’t ignored for want of a postage stamp
Dear Miss Manners:
Is it customary to put return postage on envelopes for RSVPs in invitations, or does one expect that the guest should pay for his or her own postage for the return? It seems that if I expect the invitee to send the card back, I should make it as convenient as possible. Gentle Reader:
Maybe you should also enclose a pre-inked stamp offering the choice of yes or no and a tiny vial of water so your guests would not be put to the trouble of licking the envelope.
Miss Manners condemns people who fail to respond to invitations. But she finds it exasperating when hosts ascribe excuses and pathetic when they think of how to placate them. The response card itself was invented as one such pathetic attempt. As if initiating a response were an unreasonably onerous task, compared to, say, planning for the entertainment of others.
Surely you do not think people of good will ignore those who are offering to entertain them because of the difficulty in finding or affixing a stamp.
What errant guests actually admit is that they don’t respond because they don’t know if they will feel like going when the time comes. Then they will just show up or not. An equally rude variation is to accept the invitation but not consider it binding. So making it easier is not likely to help. Dear Miss Manners:
My son is getting married and has chosen not to have a traditional rehearsal dinner. His father and I are going to pay for his wedding dinner and brunch the morning after. We also want to invite our out-of-towners and bridal party for cocktails and appetizers the night before the wedding.
The restaurant is happy to accommodate us for dinner. But I don’t know how to create an invitation for our friends and family to join us after the cocktail hour and to have dinner on their own. Do you have some great copy on how to do this delicately? Gentle Reader:
This is a situation that could work out easily, when your guests see you are staying on to dinner and might naturally ask to join you. Or they might just make their own reservations.
Miss Manners has no complaint about your ending your hospitality with the cocktail party while still being available for further conviviality for whoever chooses to hang around. She would only like to disabuse you of the notion that you can act as hosts while delegating that worry about the cost to people you call guests. Visit Miss Manners at missmanners.com, where you can send her your questions.
Universal Uclick for UFS