You’ve got mail
Jessica Pham and Brian Lai met in the days of dial-up, when logging into AOL Instant Messenger chat rooms was the preferred method of communicating with friends — and flirting with your crush.
Neither can remember exactly how her username wound up on his buddy list. Jessica was only 15 when Brian, 16, first messaged her. They made plans to meet officially, in person, at Barnes & Noble for a group study date, but no one had books on the brain.
“I don’t think I got any studying done because I was so nervous,” she recalls.
“I thought she was the prettiest girl in Sugar Land I’d ever seen,” he admits.
That was 2005. From then on, nothing came between the young pair — not even a high school rivalry. She’s a proud Fort Bend Clements Ranger alum; he roots for the Fort Bend Dulles Vikings.
Late-night phone conversations replaced their internet exchanges. “This was when phone bills did not include free text messages, so we definitely got in trouble with our parents,” Jessica says.
They didn’t have cars and couldn’t even drive that first year of dating. So the couple mostly hung out at the movies or First Colony Mall. They attended each other’s homecoming and prom dances, and eventually applied to the University of Texas together, too.
“My favorite memory in college was just being alone in a new environment with her,” Brian says. They signed up for all of the same classes and shared the same friends. “In Austin, our sophomore year, we joined Greek organizations. We were known as the ‘high school sweetheart couple.’ I guess that’s pretty rare. Everyone knew us as a pair.”
Jessica graduated with a degree in retail merchandising and moved back to Houston for an assistant-buyer position at Stage Stores, the Houston-based departmentstore chain that includes Palais Royal and Bealls. Brian, an economics major, lingered in Austin for a real estate opportunity.
It was their closest experience to a longdistance relationship. For Brian, that year apart brought clarity.
“After we graduated, I knew she was the one,” he says. “In high school, I felt like the luckiest guy on Earth and knew I wanted to marry her. But people told me, ‘You’re in that infatuation phase.’ ”
The “phase” only intensified post-college. “I was the happiest with Jessica … I couldn’t imagine my life without her.”
His girlfriend felt it, too. She started dropping engagement hints during a trip to Boston. A snowstorm hit, and the couple found refuge in a serendipitous spot.
“The closest store was a Tiffany’s,” Jessica says, laughing. “It was spur of the moment; it wasn’t planned. This was the first time we ever looked at rings, so I planted ideas of what I liked, should he want to propose in the next few years.”
When Brian began his first semester in Rice University’s MBA program in 2015, he was ready to pop the question. That way, he thought, they could marry right after his graduation.
But he couldn’t figure out how to blow Jessica away, so the proposal kept getting delayed. He booked a Jamaican vacation for Thanksgiving Day 2016.
“My friends were thinking that every trip could be the trip that he proposed,” Jessica says. She wasn’t suspicious until Brian suggested a photo shoot on their first day at the resort. “We took photos on this pier. It was windy, very romantic. We were on the beach when he got down on one knee.”
Six months later, they tied the knot.
“Our engagement was very short partly because my parents believe in this auspicious Chinese calendar, which only allows you to marry on specific dates,” Brian explains. “We only had four dates to choose from, and most were inconvenient, so we were basically stuck with June 10.”
Jessica’s first move was to hire wedding planner Jo Ann Woodward of Schwartz & Woodward. Looking back, the bride acknowledges, it all worked out perfectly.
“Having meetings almost every week gave me something to look forward to,” she says.
Jessica tried on at least 15 dresses before she walked into Ventura’s Bridal Fashions. There, she scored a winning look that hit her big three: “lace with beading, A-line skirt and a sweetheart neckline that wasn’t too deep.”
The bride hadn’t spent much quality time with her future in-laws prior to planning the wedding. She says she fell in love with the Lais, who fill their home with fresh flowers, as they were picking out floral arrangements at the Blooming Gallery. Brian’s mother is the one who suggested draping orchids over the chandeliers at Hotel ZaZa; it was his father’s idea to place orb-shaped centerpieces on the reception tables.
“Some of our guests thought the flowers were fake because they were so beautiful,” Jessica says.
On the big day, though, it was her groom’s handwritten vows that left their 320 guests speechless.
“Thursday night, 1 a.m. before the wedding, I locked myself in a room and played ’90s love music. That was the best decision I ever made,” he says. “The words just flowed into my head, and it was perfect. I wrote exactly what I felt, what I’ve experienced since Day 1 of meeting her until now.”
Even his groomsmen were in tears.
“Brian is not a very sensitive guy or expressive with his emotions. He’s the rock,” Jessica says. “I think I asked him afterward to recite his vows again. He said it was a one-time thing.”
There was one last trick up his sleeve, however. Brian — who says he’s not the most coordinated fellow — nailed every move of the couple’s choreographed first dance. He gives liquid courage partial credit.
“We just kept looking at each other; you can see it in our pictures,” gushes the newly minted Mrs. Lai.
She changed into a Givenchy-inspired gown after their wedding toasts, and a third, shorter frock for the dance floor.
The biggest change is yet to come. In August, the newlyweds will move to Baltimore, where Jessica will attend graduate school.
Brian plans to visit Houston regularly for work, and he welcomes the new adventure with his wife. After 12 years of waiting, he’s finally gotten the girl.
How does it feel to be married?
“You’ll hear two different answers, but I definitely feel a difference. It’s so nice to have that husband,” Jessica says. “He’ll tell people that it feels the same. He recently asked me, ‘Why do you think of it as a bad thing? It’s always been amazing, and it’s still amazing.”
From chat room to ‘I do,’ high school sweethearts marry after 12 years together