Organization raises awareness of struggles foster children face
Thousands of children throughout the United States will be celebrating the holidays without their biological family, if they celebrate at all.
Those children are in the foster care system, where days normally set aside for family gatherings can be a cause for sadness rather than cheer.
November is National Adoption Awareness Month, and one local organization works year round to provide foster children with reasons to be thankful.
Love Foster Hope, a nonprofit organization whose mission is to positively to impact the lives of children and teens in foster care who have been abused, neglected or abandoned, has been serving children and teenagers in foster care for 17 years.
Executive Director Cindy Mericle said the organization offers four summer camps and a yearlong mentorship program that provide acceptance and guidance.
“Everything about our programs, all of the camps, are geared towards bringing about healing, letting them [foster children] know that they’re significant, that they’re valued and that they are cared for,” Mericle said. “And then they just have fun creating positive memories.”
FOSTER CHILDREN OFTEN STRUGGLE WITH SELF WORTH
Brianna Watkins, a former foster child who is now a freshman attending Texas A&M University, knows firsthand what it is like to feel hopeless and alone.
“Some of the struggles I experienced in foster care personally was finding hope and knowing my selfworth,” Watkins said. “In foster care I felt as though I were a pay check more than I was a child and that
left me with an extremely low self-esteem. As time went on I had little to no hope that I would ever be adopted and so gradually stopped trying to make any meaningful connections.”
Watkins went on to tell about her experience attending one of the summer camps offered by Love Fosters Hope.
“I attended a camp Love Fosters Hope has called Royal Family kids camp when I was 7-years-old. In the beginning I came with a very closed off attitude and wanted no part of it” Watkins said. “However, as the days went on they began to make me feel loved and safe. They sparked a lot of hope in me and I began to smile and be happy for the first time in a very long time.”
The nonprofit is not an adoption agency that actively tries to get children adopted, but it provides resources to those in foster care and opportunities to develop meaningful, healthy relationships.
Mericle said the mentoring program in particular helps teens decide what to do when they age out of the system. Many have no idea what they want to do and feel that they have no skills. That’s where the mentor program steps in by helping teens to identify their talents and strengths and begin charting a course for a successful future, she added.
“[We] help them identify possible career paths they might want to take, and then after that we try to help them understand, ‘Well to achieve that, this is extra training that’s going to be required’—either college, or trade schools or whatever is involved with that—so they understand now why high school is important,” Mericle said.
Sometimes children in foster care will have gaps in their education due to constantly being moved from one home to another and changing schools that have different curriculums. Mentors will either tutor children in areas they have missed or make sure the issue is addressed and get them the help they need.
“One of the things that we see frequently with kids in foster care is the longer you linger in foster care and the more placements that you have had in foster care—the more times that you have been moved from one foster home to the next foster home—their feeling of selfworth diminishes. They don’t feel valued,” Mericle said, adding that the summer camps the organization hosts try to build character and a sense of self-worth.
Being placed in strangers’ homes and moving from one school to another doesn’t provide much opportunity to create lasting bonds and healthy relationships. When teens in foster care grow up without a nurturing and supportive environment, Mericle said they often give up and turn to drugs or irresponsible sex. They can also become vulnerable to human trafficking, she added.
“The largest population in our society that is involved with human trafficking is coming from our foster kids. They are the most vulnerable group in our country,” Mericle said. “I honestly believe that we have a crisis going on. It’s kind of invisible, but yet it’s a crisis when you look at the statistics of the kids that are aging out of care and what is happening to them.”
Love Fosters Hope fights hard to prevent children from becoming part of those statistics by pushing them in a positive direction. The organization provides support and encouragement to be successful and move toward a bright future. Mericle said one of the best ways to combat negative influences is to educate those involved in a foster child’s life, such as teachers and medical staff, about the trauma and needs of children in foster care.
“Most people know what the foster care system is but they don’t really know what happens or what those kids are going through,” Watkins added.
FOSTER, ADOPTIVE FAMILIES PART OF HEALING PROCESS
Foster and adoptive families need to understand that they are a necessary part of a healing process, Mericle said. The majority of foster children have been through some sort of trauma and many have PTSD. Each child has emotional wounds that need loving attention and care. People often mistake a child acting in “survival mode” for misbehavior or defiance, she added.
“All of the people involved with these children and these teenagers need to be equipped properly,” Mericle said. “They need to be trained to understand trauma, understand how it impacts the kids and how the kids will act out of trauma, not out of misbehavior.”
One of the most prevalent issues facing foster children is that there aren’t enough foster homes motivated to be loving and healing, she continued.
Some homes want to just mange the children and accept a paycheck, as Watkins experienced.
“I would like the general public to know that living in foster care is not necessarily a safe haven that everyone perceives it to be,” Watkins said. “It often leaves children feeling helpless, scared, and confused and many children are not in a great and loving foster home because there isn’t enough foster parents. The best thing for them is for the public to open their homes for these kids and give them the care and love they deserve.”
Mericle understands that dedicating time to become a foster parent or a mentor can be difficult for many people. It’s a large commitment that comes with a huge responsibility. The decision to impact a child’s life through foster care or adoption should not be made lightly.
“I think that for a lot of people, to foster or to adopt is very intimidating,” Mericle said. “And it is huge. Having another child in your home—whether it’s a biological child or you adopt the child—that’s a big adjustment to make. And it’s a huge addition. And it’s a lifetime commitment.”
Some people may be in a position where they are unable to make that kind of a commitment, but there is always something that can be done to help. Love Fosters Hope has plenty of volunteer opportunities throughout the year and is always accepting donations.
“There’s a vast wealth of experience and wisdom and knowledge and patience that people in our community could pour into these kids through our mentoring program,” Mericle said. “Every person that has aged out of foster care and has been successful has always had someone in their life that believed in them. It is one of the key elements in healing from the trauma, from the past. Is having a connection with another healthy human being.”
In December, Love Fosters Hope will have four Christmas dinner parties for those currently in foster care and young adults who have recently aged out to bring some holiday cheer to those who have little. The organization is accepting gift and financial donations and seeking volunteers to help with the parties. For more information about the organization and how to donate, email director@lovefostershope. org or call 832-823-1889.
All prospective adoptive or foster parents must attend a mandatory informational meeting. The next one in The Woodlands is on Dec. 16 at the South Regional Library located at 2101 Lake Robbins Drive. Contact Harryl Hale at 281-847-7061 for more information.
— Patricia Dillon is a features reporter for The Woodlands Villager. Contact her at her office 713-362-4433 or on Twitter: @Dillon_Villager.