Husband won’t lend an ear to wife with hearing problem
Dear Abby:
I have hearing loss. My insurance isn’t very good, and the monthly payments for hearing aids are the equivalent of a car payment, so I try my best and do without. People who know about my hearing loss will talk louder for me or let me know when they need my attention. Even strangers will repeat themselves or talk louder if I say I’m hard of hearing.
The problem is that my husband refuses to talk louder for me or make any attempt to improve our communication. He has gone as far as to threaten that he just won’t talk to me anymore because he’s sick of repeating himself. It’s like he’s taking my hearing loss personally.
I feel depressed and isolated, and I’m not sure what to do. I Can’t Hear You in California
Dear Can’t Hear:
Of course you feel depressed and isolated! Your husband either doesn’t like or hasn’t accepted the fact that you have a hearing disability, so he’s punishing you for it. What he’s doing is emotionally abusive.
Please have your hearing checked by an audiologist to determine how much of your hearing you have lost. Take your husband along so a professional can explain it to him. And be sure to ask if there may be lower-cost options for an assistive device.
Dear Abby:
When I was 17, I was engaged to a serviceman. I broke the engagement because my mother disapproved. I was young, naive, had no job or money, and I had never disobeyed my mom.
Big mistake! I have paid for it for more than 50 years. I have raised a family, but my heart is still with my young military man. I wake up in the middle of the night thinking of him. I’ve dreamt about him all these years. I still love him. Thoughts of him are consuming my life.
I don’t want to risk disturbing two families by contacting him in another state to apologize. Please advise me about what to do. Seeking Closure
Dear Seeking Closure:
There is no magic wand I can wave to make those feelings go away. I can, however, point out that your memories of that young man are from the perspective of a 17-year-old girl with little life experience. Viewed from that perspective, the life (and person) you have idealized may be far from reality.
Because these thoughts have become obsessive, it would benefit you to talk them through with a licensed mental health professional. DearAbby.com Dear Abby P.O. Box 69440 Los Angeles, CA 90069 Andrews McMeel Syndication