What you should do after the apology

Q: I teach at a university. I recently missed the deadline for ordering textbooks and materials for a new class I was asked to teach on short notice. In doing so, I created extra work for a lot of colleagues. I am deservedly in the doghouse. I apologized and promised never to do this again. Now I’m trying to be as low-maintenance as possible and just move forward. However, in sorting everything out, I learned of a policy I was not aware of before, which was part of the reason for my mistake. Should I mention this to my boss now, or wait and report the new information closer to the next deadline?

A: So you’ve made the kind of mistake that created needless work for people downstream and drew the eye of higherups. The good news: You’ve apologized, and you’re investigating how it happened so you can keep it from happening again — as anyone in your situation should.

But after a certain point, explanations exasperate. Right now, sharing what you’ve just learned about policy won’t make a stressed-out staffer’s life any easier. Your boss may interpret your observations as an attempt to tell him or her how to run things.

When we’re trying to resolve and learn from our mistakes, it can be hard to tell whether the question we’re actually answering is, “What happened and how can I fix it?” or — because it’s human nature — “Who’s to blame, and how can I defend myself ?” So as you’re trying to recover, ask yourself: “What am I responsible for?”

For example: You are responsible for planning the curriculum and following administrative procedures. You are not responsible for setting or communicating those procedures.

You are responsible for fixing what you can. You are not responsible for overseeing how others handle the cleanup. You are responsible for making sure you don’t repeat your mistakes. Unless you’re a leader, you are not responsible for making sure no one else repeats your mistakes.

Otherwise, lie low, lick your wounds, teach your classes. Then, well before the next deadline, check in with the relevant parties and make sure you understand what they need from you and when. That’s the best way to show your intent to do better.