Does Miss Manners condone eye-rolling? One guess
Dear Miss Manners:
What is Miss Manners’ opinion on eye-rolling? Especially when accompanied by an extended sigh or tongue-clicking?
I have a sibling who has been doing this for years, and has even added a shoulder roll with head toss. It’s a mini workout of contempt — and oh, yes, there is that finishing sneer, like a villain from a black-and-white movie.
While I do feel better for having written all this down, I would still be glad to have a professional opinion.
Gentle Reader:
Were you expecting Miss Manners to say that this behavior is fine? Obviously it is not. But perhaps you want assistance, along with reassurance.
You might try exclaiming, “Marcy, are you having a seizure? I am worried that your face is making all kinds of rapid expressions. Perhaps you should see a specialist about that.”
Dear Miss Manners:
I have a co-worker who, at least twice daily, asks me questions about work processes that she was trained on repeatedly. She has been doing the same job for three years, so why all the questions?
I try to jog her memory politely and answer diplomatically, but then she returns with more questions. Not only is it distracting, but my supervisor encourages it. How should I handle it?
Gentle Reader:
By referring her back to your supervisor — as she is the one who seems to be encouraging it.
Dear Miss Manners:
A dear friend invited me to lunch at her home, now that renovations are complete. I offered to bring a beverage. I was told beef stroganoff would be served, and that I could bring a red wine.
I shopped at my favorite wine store and purchased a $15 bottle of red that I was not familiar with. My host had had a dinner party the night before, and said our lunch would instead be sandwiches using the brisket left over from the party. Also, she offered to pour the remainder of the wine from three bottles left over from the party.
I didn’t say anything, but I would have loved to taste what I brought. Today, she told me she was enjoying the wine I brought two days ago.
Am I silly to expect to drink what I brought for the meal? Was she rude to offer a mix of assorted reds instead of what she asked me to bring to accompany the meal?
Gentle Reader:
This is precisely why Miss Manners wishes everyone would stop bringing their own provisions when invited to a home for a meal. It is too confusing determining which constitute a present and which are meant to be consumed on-site.
But if everyone is going to ignore her and continue bringing things, then they must also make peace with surrendering them at the door.
Miss Manners is not unsympathetic to your wanting to pair the perfect wine with the promised meal. Clearly, you were bait-and-switched with leftovers from a party to which you were not invited. Nevertheless, $15 is a small price to pay to preserve a friendship that could be compromised if you snatched the item back.
Dear Miss Manners:
I’m a man in my mid-20s who has started a much-overdue habit of writing physical thank-you notes and personal letters, rather than emails or text messages.
I’m a bit self-conscious about my sloppy penmanship. If I type up personal, heartfelt words on good stationery and sign my own name by hand, will it still be considered appropriate as I continue to practice my penmanship?
Gentle Reader:
Handwritten notes are appreciated for the effort they demonstrate — and too often for their quaint rarity — not for their legibility. Miss Manners suggests there is therefore no reason to delay handwriting the whole letter, particularly as it will simultaneously provide the needed practice.