Reusing cloth napkins for a week is totally acceptable
Dear Miss Manners:
During our weeklong visit, our dear hosts subjected us to one of their quirks I can’t abide by. They issued each of us a cloth napkin to be used for the week. Granted, we were not eating ribs, but it still just seemed unsanitary.
Gentle Reader:
Why? What else were they being used for?
Miss Manners is sorry to tell you, but saving a cloth napkin for up to a week is not only acceptable, it comes with accessories. That is the purpose of those round silver things that are too small to be bracelets. They are napkin rings. For frequent guests, Miss Manners even gets them monogrammed — an honor, she assures you.
However, if you feel that yours is being overused to the point of being ineffective, graciously blame it on yourself. “I am afraid I over-enjoyed my dinner last night and sorely abused my napkin. I wonder if I might have a fresh one tonight. And I will try to take better care of it.”
Dear Miss Manners:
I received a bachelor’s degree in art history and am currently finishing up a master’s in another art-related field. For many years, I have often had to put up with people’s rude comments regarding my career choice.
When I tell people what degree I am pursuing, I have received responses such as (literally) “So, you want to live in a box for the rest of your life?”, “So, you want to be poor?”, “So, you want to starve?” Unfortunately, they are often not saying this in jest, and will continue to demean my profession for several minutes.
I try to make a joke out of it and direct the conversation elsewhere, but I am losing patience. Any suggestions for how to avoid this ugly situation or deal with it appropriately are appreciated.
Gentle Reader:
“Yes, I suppose that’s a possibility, but at least I will live poor and starving in a beautifully decorated box.”
Dear Miss Manners:
I have a toddler and an almost-1-year old. The toddler does pretty well nowadays when we eat out at restaurants, but the infant tends to spill a lot of food on the floor.
I don’t want people to think I am fine with letting my kids make a big mess for other people to clean up, so usually at the end of our meal, I get down on the floor and clean up the baby’s crumbs. I have had times in which the restaurant owners seemed appalled that we are cleaning up after ourselves and I sort of understand that (it’s probably not a good look to the other customers). What is the most polite approach for handling kid messes in public?
Gentle Reader:
Small messes should be picked up as they happen. For larger ones, a reasonable effort should be made.
But much like the wallet reach when one is fairly certain that one’s restaurant companion is paying, the intent is more appreciated than the result. Similarly, Miss Manners suggests that the attempt to clean up should be genuine, but graciously retractable if the other party objects strongly enough.
Dear Miss Manners:
Friends did me a huge favor. I have a 3-month-old puppy and had to go out of town for five days for a family event. The puppy sitter I originally lined up had to cancel last-minute, and I solicited help from friends.
One friend and her boyfriend generously stepped up to the plate and took care of my furry friend while I was away. Everything went wonderfully, but now I’m struggling to find the best way to show my gratitude.
I plan to write them a nice note, but beyond that, I’m not sure what the best way to thank them/compensate them would be. I likely would have spent between $150 and $250 to have a professional watch a puppy for this period of time.
Gentle Reader:
If they are good friends, they likely do not expect pay — unless young Kujo did some damage, and payment is in the form of a cleaning service.
Offering to reciprocate whenever they are in need is otherwise sufficient. But if, one day far in the future — when you have long forgotten, and they have multiple young children — they suddenly remember to cash in, Miss Manners warns you not to be surprised.