Domestic violence survivors need our help
Houston center sees a 357 percent rise in emergency calls
The holidays can be such a joyful time of year. Tragically, this season can also be the most dangerous for those enduring domestic violence.
Imagine that your job day after day is to answer the phone and talk to someone who is being emotionally, physically or financially abused, perhaps stalked, or even threatened with a gun. Today, the caller says her situation has escalated and she is truly afraid for her life. She feels alone, scared, ashamed and unsure of what to do next. And yet, the idea of leaving, while terrifying, feels safer than staying.
Envision it’s your job to help this woman safely navigate leaving an extremely dangerous and controlling individual able to track her every move thanks to today’s technology, who monitors access to what little money she has, knows where she keeps all of her personal documents and has rights to their children.
At the Houston Area Women’s Center, we have been answering calls like this since 1977. After 43 years on the front lines, we have learned some valuable lessons. We have seen that domestic and sexual violence respect no boundaries — not race, class, culture, age, gender or sexuality. We also know that domestic and sexual violence take a disproportionate toll on vulnerable or marginalized communities that have less access to resources.
Every day, we see firsthand that those most vulnerable to the impact of interpersonal violence are disproportionately low-income women, children of color and the trans community.
It is clear that while domestic and sexual violence are deeply personal, they are not private matters that can be contained behind closed doors. These intimate violations have far reaching systemic effects. Violence and abuse beget violence and abuse in homes, schools, workplaces and communities. A U.S. Department of Justice survey found that approximately 26 percent of children witness family violence in their lifetime. And evidence repeatedly confirms that children exposed to intimate partner violence are more likely to attempt suicide, abuse drugs and alcohol, run away from home, become victims of trafficking and commit sexual assault crimes. It is estimated that the lifetime economic cost of intimate partner violence to the U.S. population is $3.6 trillion. What we have for too long mistaken as an isolated issue is in fact collective trauma that has exploded into a public health crisis that can no longer be ignored.
During HAWC’s history, we have seen spikes in family violence during natural disasters and economic downturns, but we have not seen anything quite like the shadow pandemic of violence against women that is taking place during COVID-19. Stay-at-home measures meant to help prevent the spread of the coronavirus have forced many to stay in close and continued proximity with an abusive partner.
HAWC advocates are fielding more calls than ever before and are housing women, children and families in record numbers. As of October, compared to last year, we have received over
4,100 more calls to our hotlines, and we’ve seen a 357 percent increase in emergency placements for those fleeing abuse. Make no mistake, family violence is escalating at an alarming rate in the Houston area. It is also intensifying, becoming more physical and in the case of at least 52 Houstonians in 2020, deadly by gun violence.
We are calling on the public to help survivors during this holiday season. If you are on social media, please share HAWC’s posts and spread the important message that survivors are not to blame, they are not alone and help is available. If someone in trouble reaches out to you, recognize the abuse, respond by listening without judgment and refer the survivor to a domestic violence agency, like HAWC, for additional support. If you think you might be a perpetrator of abuse, call the national domestic violence hotline at 1-800-7997233 for help and break the cycle. If you feel unsafe, scared or hurt and you need help or you know someone who does, please call HAWC at 713-528-2121 or visit our website www.hawc.org.
We do not live in silos. Every person who is being abused knows at least one person who could be a lifeline for them.
Every abuser knows at least one person who could and should tell them their behavior is not acceptable. Maybe that person is you. While it may not be your job to pick up the phone, I am asking you to answer the call.