Confirm all information by creating a record of it
Q: My boss demands that I respond instantly to all her communications. When she wants something, she emails, texts or calls me. I like to use email, especially tomake sure I don’t get blamed for making amistake that’s not mine if something goes wrong. So, no matter how she sends me information, I followup all her communications with an email confirming the details.
If she emails me, I respond with an email. If she calls me, I give her the information she wants and confirm it with an email. If she texts me, I return the text and confirm the information in an email.
Recently, I discovered this irritates her. She has commented about me wasting my time and hers with the emails. However, I don’t think it’s a waste of time. I think it’s professional to confirm all information by creating a record of it; phone calls don’t do that (you can’t record a verbal request) and texts are hard to track back to the original contact.
She probably thinks I’m protecting myself, and I am. Her communications depend on her behavior. Sometimes she’s hyper and not clear. Sometimes she’s upset and omits information I need. I have completed tasks where she says,
“That’s not what I asked for.” But it is what she asked for, and I need backup to show that. It’s the only way I can work for someone who is exhibiting this behavior.
Howdo I explain why I confirm everything with an email without it seeming like the obvious — that there is a lack of trust in her? I just don’t want her blaming me.
A: You are right to confirm everything in an email, and you’re also right that she knows why you are doing it. But you are wrong about her having no idea of her behavior or her shifting communication skills. She is aware of it and it concerns her, which is why your confirmation emails upset her. It exposes her emotional issues, which is confronting.
When people are faced with a problem, they have two choices: Ignore it or deal with it.
With a difficult boss, personality problems usually play out through social contact. What you see at work may be similar to what family members see at home. People are the way they are. Though certain situations can trigger specific character flaws or temporary emotional problems, it’s a rare person who can hide all their emotional responses, regardless of the setting and the situation.
Your emails, as basic and necessary as you think they are, may make it difficult for her to live in denial of her emotional behavior. Don’t ignore her anger or frustration. Tell her you send email confirmations so she can see if you are correctly interpreting what she wants. It gives her an opportunity to add to or change the information in case you’ve misunderstood. You want to do a good job, and your being efficient will make her job go more smoothly. Good bosses know that high-performance employees add to their own reputation as a good leader. She may not be at this leadership level, but you will never go wrong by making a boss feel good about their ability. It’s not false flattery. It’s building one’s confidence, and all people respond well to a kind and positive approach.