Even in this high-tech age, we don’t all want to be online 24/7
Dear Miss Manners:
What is the proper response to people who own lots of electronic gadgets, such as smartphones, tablets, computers, etc., and participate in every social-media platform and software program, and who insist — not in a polite way — that I also be similarly hooked up, expose my life to the world and be available to them every second?
It is fine with me if they want to do this, but I do not wish to. Ideas?
Gentle Reader:
Assure them that you are old-fashioned in valuing your privacy and the company of real friends?
Perhaps not. Miss Manners rules that option out on the grounds of tact, but realizes that it could equally well be eliminated because it will only arouse scorn.
When she admits her own technological ineptitude, she has perfected a tone which, while the words may be selfdeprecating (“I’m so sorry, that’s quite beyond me”), makes clear to anyone paying attention that offers to instruct her would not be greeted with enthusiasm. She has quite a different and humbler tone for those whose aid she might require to get her out of technological trouble.
Dear Miss Manners:
At what rank should we discontinue addressing people with honorifics after they are no longer in the role? Presidents seemingly remain presidents forever. Diplomats are ambassadors for life. Congress people, ditto. Generals and admirals seem to get the same treatment. So should we call our acquaintance John Smith “lieutenant” or “sergeant”?
Gentle Reader:
Well, the rule is that unique titles, such as president of the United States, are held by only one person at the same time. Nobody follows this rule, least of all former presidents, who always address one another by that title.
Miss Manners would have thought that if one has been president, everyone knows it, and it is charmingly modest to revert to a nonexclusive title — as, for example, did Gen. Washington. (Military officers retain their titles.)
But in these acrimonious times, she supposes it would seem like a slur not to do so.
Dear Miss Manners:
Using a knife and fork to eat crispy bacon causes it to shatter. It is then difficult to pick up the shards and crumbles on the fork. Is it ever appropriate to eat crispy bacon by picking it up with the fingers?
Gentle Reader:
Both of these phenomena are true. Miss Manners recognizes that you make an excellent argument for eating breakfast alone.